“Do people really come in here to, well–”
“Fuck.”
I shift off the wall and prowl toward her, extending my hand as I drag her to perch on the edge of the bench alongside me.
“Yes, they do. It’s liberating, really, because inside this room, you can be anyone or do anything. Nothing passes outside that locked door. Your darkest secrets remain here, and you walk away as strangers unless you wish otherwise.”
“So, you come here with–?”
The spike of hurt in her eyes cuts me deep, and I wonder about that.
“Women, yes, I do. I indulge my passion alongside theirs, and we walk away as strangers. There is no intimacy of minds, no hearts to crush, no feelings involved, just pure sexual gratification, and I believed that was all I ever needed until–”
I stop, and she turns to face me, her gaze soft and endearing, “Until?”
“Must I spell it out for you?”
I groan, raking my fingers through my hair as I struggle to use words that taste like acid on my tongue.
“I think you must.”
She strokes my face gently, smiling into my eyes, and I clutch her face between my fingers and say almost angrily, “Until I married a woman who infuriates the hell out of me, but I desire because of it. Because I met a woman who challenged everything I’ve built so hard to contain, to keep emotion out of my life. Because I married a woman I am terrified that I will drive away, and a woman I would burn the world down to protect. I didn’t ask to catch feelings, and now I’m terrified they will destroy me. Terrified this will destroyus.”
“Simeon.”
Her breath catches, and the shock on her face doesn’t give me anything to hold on to because I can’t read this woman at all. Have I shocked her with my declaration because I shocked the hell out of myself.
I don’t lay my emotions out to be trampled on. I hardly know her, and yet it’s as if I’ve known her all my life and as she crushes her lips to mine, it takes my breath away.
Her kiss is hard, fierce and desperate, and I groan as I tangle my fingers in her hair and hold her in place. Kissing her deeply, ferociously even, and as she shifts closer, I hold her protectively, not wanting anything more than the connection we are sharing in this moment. It’s hot, heavy and intimate and has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with commitment. I want Alice to understand who I am because I promised not to lie to her. She is an open book, and I love that about her. That she surprises me with every turn of the page and reveals a plot twist I wasn’t expecting.
In bringing her here, I wanted to shock her, to test her boundaries, and to see if she really is my perfect match.
I believe she is.
I want her to be, because if she ever looks at me with anything less than adoration, I will consider that I have failed at life.
CHAPTER 32
ALICE
This is intense; then again, Simeon is the most intense man I have ever met, and for a woman who hasn’t met many, I’m guessing I was just lucky and hit the jackpot.
He is living to me. He brings me alive and has fired my soul and supercharged my emotions.
I never believed that people lived like this. I suppose I’ve led a sheltered life, and yet this doesn’t horrify me as much as it should.
We break apart, and he rests his forehead against mine and whispers, “I didn’t bring you in here to fuck you, Alice. I just wanted you to understand the man I used to be. The cold, unfeeling monster you married, who somewhere between Switzerland and New York found his heart in the unlikeliest of places.”
“You have a heart?” I make light of his statement, and his slight chuckle chases away the tension.
“I’m still figuring that one out.”
“Good, because I kind of like my cold, cruel monster, and if you think this would send me running for the convent door, you’re wrong, actually.”
“You’re a strange woman, Alice.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
