"Responsible?" Grace's face looked like she'd sucked a lemon. "Love isn't supposed to be responsible, or so I've been told." She smacked his arm. "You’re supposed to feel a little out of control when you’re in love, aren’t you? But you don’t care, because you love the way you feel when you’re with that person. I mean, I've never been in love, so I don't really know."
His life felt out of control alright, and he loved being around Paige and her sunny personality. So much so, he was risking his job.
Grace stared at him, waiting for a response. When he didn't speak, she nudged his shoulder. "Is that how it was with Harper?"
"It was different with Harper." His words were little more than a grunt.
"How?" Grace picked up her vine again.
"Harper pursued me. She bowled me over with her big personality, and I got caught up in the idea of being in love and having a woman in my life." He recalled Paige mentioning how charismatic and persistent Phillip was and imagined she experienced something similar. "I asked Harper to marry me, because she convinced me marriage was the next step." He shrugged one shoulder. “Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have thought about marriage until after PT school.”
"And then she cheated on you and left you at the altar." Contempt laced Grace's words.
Gabe studied his Sunday shoes that were now ruined. "Because I didn't give her the attention she needed."
"Stop taking the blame for her actions." She pointed a finger at Gabe. "Sure, you're not perfect. Nobody is. But it’s past time for you to stop punishing yourself for her faults."
Didn't he tell Paige something similar yesterday?
Even if he stopped shouldering the blame, it didn’t mean he’d changed. He tended to be hyper-focused when he had a goal, and rightnow, his goals were to ensure the new PT office was a success and make the most of his final days with his mom. He couldn’t accomplish both of thoseandmake Paige happy. She deserved more than he could give her right now.
"This thing with Paige…" He halted when Grace's curious gaze jumped to his face. "I think I've screwed it up."
“What did you do?” Grace’s expression became wary.
“I told her not to get her hopes up. I don’t have the time to devote to a real relationship.”
“Time?” Grace scoffed. “I know you have a lot going on right now, and our lives have been in upheaval since Mom’s diagnosis, but there is no perfect time to fall in love.” Her expression was earnest as she gripped his arm. “Love is a gift from God. We don’t get to choose when or if it will happen to us. But wecanchoose if we will accept it and let it enrich our lives.” Then she shrugged one shoulder as she let go. “Or you know, you can reject it and continue to be miserable.”
“You sound like Mom.” Gabe found himself smiling.
Grace grinned and lifted her chin in the air. “Well, sheisa very wise woman.”
“For the record, I wasn’t miserable before I met Paige.”
“Maybe not, but now that you’ve gotten to know her, do you honestly think you’ll be happy if you push her away?”
No.
He was miserable just thinking about how he hurt her last night. But how did he make sure he was there for his mom, succeeded in his job,anddidn’t neglect Paige when just being with her put his job at risk.
She’d have to drive to Pasco for PT if they were ever going to be together, which is exactly what her father wanted to avoid by insisting Gabe open the office in Providence.
“To be honest…” Grace looked down at her gloved hands. “I envy you.”
“What?” Gabe gave her a confused look. “Why?”
“You have someone to talk to and share your pain with as we faceall of this…” Tears flooded her eyes as she motioned toward the house. “…uncertainty with Mom.”
As hard as it was to discuss, talking to Paige about what he was going through made him feel less alone. Twelve years ago, he had no one to talk to when he’d had to be strong for his mom and sister. It didn’t have to be that way this time.
He wanted to accept this gift from God.
But that meant truly opening his heart to Paige and possibly losing his job. Was he willing to make that sacrifice?
CHAPTER 21
Riley set the piping hot pizza on the counter in front of Paige. "Thanks for keeping me company while Daniel is at his AA meeting."
