She changed out of her black dress and into sweatpants and the over-sized ARMY hoodie that showed up on her doorstep last night with a note that said:I know it's not the same as me hugging you, but every time you wear this, remember I'm thinking of you and wish I was there with you.
She plopped down on the couch with a sigh. She didn't bother to open the blinds this morning, so the gloominess of the living room fit her mood. The day was sunny and surprisingly pleasant for mid-November, however. She couldn't have asked for better weather for her mom's funeral, but that didn't change the fact that it felt like the darkest day of her life.
Leaning over, she tugged the afghan Faith gave her mother off the recliner and wrapped it around her shoulders. Then she pulled her phone from her pocket and texted Damon.
Grace:The house is so quiet. Too quiet.
Grace:Not any quieter than when my mom was still here, but the silence feels oppressive now.
Grace:I feel so empty and hollow.
Grace:I wish you were here.
Damon was on guard duty right now, so he wouldn't be able to respond for hours, but texting him—even if he couldn't answer—made it feel like he wasn't so far away.
Grace:The service was short but beautiful. Mom wanted both Gabe and me to speak. I volunteered to give the eulogy, thinking I'd be less likely to get emotional if I was reading a pre-written speech. I was wrong, but thankfully, I made it through without breaking down too badly.
Grace:Paige and her parents each gave a short tribute also.
She laid down on the couch and tucked the afghan around her. As her eyes fluttered closed, her thoughts drifted to the day she met Damon. Who knew getting stuck in an elevator with a stranger would be the best thing to ever happen to her?
Sometime later, her phone buzzed in her hand, jolting her awake.
Damon:I wish I was there too.
Damon:And I wish I could call and talk to you right now, but I can't.
He wasn't even supposed to be checking his texts while on duty. He could get in trouble if he got caught.
Because he was doing a month-long stint of night guard duty, their calls now took place when he got off duty in the mornings which was evening for her. She liked knowing that when he said "sweet dreams" before ending their calls, he was headed to bed too.
Grace:I know. I'm sorry for bombarding you with texts. I probably should have emailed you. I just...I don't know. Texting you makes me feel closer to you right now.
Damon:Text all you want. I'll respond if I can, but it may not be much. Sorry.
Grace responded with a heart emoji, then stopped and thought about how he might interpret it. There had been so much going on that she still hadn't told him she loved him. She didn't want him to think she was only saying the words because of his sweet gestures.
She couldn't throw those words out mindlessly. Not when she was still reeling from losing her mother.
But I do love him. So much.
She still needed to tell him everything though. She wanted to believe their relationship—even though long-distance—was strong enough to weather the secrets of her past.
When they talked, he was often surrounded by his buddies. It never felt like the right time. For now, she'd tell him more about how the amazing people of Providence made this difficult day a little easier for her.
Grace:I was surprised at how many people—mostly your family—came to the funeral. Many of them followed us to the cemetery then back to the church for lunch. Your mom and Lottie served the best lasagna and garlic bread sticks I have ever tasted. And Amy made several of her triple chocolate cakes for dessert. I heard it's kind of famous around here.
Grace:Between the leftovers they sent home with me and the steady stream of casseroles, cakes and cookies that people have been bringing, I won't have to cook for a week. And I’ll probably gain ten pounds.
A teasing smile lifted Grace's lips as she typed one more text.
Grace:Too bad I don't have a handsome soldier here to help me eat them. Maybe I should call Zack Hastings and see if he's hungry.
Damon:DON'T YOU DARE!!!
Grace laughed. Something she hadn't done for a while.
Her doorbell rang, and she braced herself for more condolences and food as she opened the door.
