It kept Grace's chest perpetually tight. She tried to keep a brave face, but she felt like she was always on the verge of tears. Not only did she miss Damon like crazy, she’d soon have to say goodbye to her mother. She wasn't ready to do that.
Instead of sitting in her chair, Mom sat beside her on the couch.
"You should sit in your chair, Mom. It'll be more comfortable for you."
Her last scan before leaving Richmond showed that the cancer had spread to her spine, which often caused her discomfort when sitting upright.
"I've been sitting there all day." Mom waved a hand. "And I'll sit there tomorrow. Right now, I want to snuggle with my daughter." She lifted her arm to put around Grace's shoulders.
Grace's chest constricted as she slid down to lean into her mom's side. She tried to ignore how frail her mom had become. Little more than skin and bones.
They used to snuggle on the couch all the time as they talked or watched a movie together, but since their move to Providence almost two months ago, Mom had spent most of her time in her bed or chair.
"How's Damon doing?" Mom leaned her cheek against Grace's head.
"Good. He says things are slow and boring right now."
"Slow is good, right? Boring is safe."
"Yes, thank goodness. I like that he's stuck at base camp for now, because I get calls and texts. When he leaves camp, he rarely has service."
Except for the five days he was away from base last week, she'd been able to talk to Damon almost every day for the past month, and she loved it. Some days, they talked for the entirety of her lunch break, bantering back and forth. On other days, their calls were cut short after only ten or fifteen minutes—either on his end or hers. They rarely discussed anything important, but talking to Damon about even mundane things made her day.
She didn't look forward to next week when he'd be out on assignment again and unable to contact her.
"Is that Howie fellow still pulling pranks?"
She often shared with her mom the things she and Damon talked about, including his frustration with Howie and his practical jokes.
"Yes. Last week before they left on assignment, he swapped Flowers' body spray out with the deodorizer Chevy uses in his boots, and yesterday he traded King's boots with Romero's." Despite not approving of Howie's pranks, Grace found herself chuckling. "The guy with the biggest feet was trying to cram his foot into boots that were three sizes too small. And of course, Romero couldn't figure out why his boots were so loose no matter how tight he tied them."
"I wonder if the jokes and pranks are Howie's way of coping. I'm sure it's hard to be so far away from home and family."
"Maybe, but he does it even when they’re stateside. I feel like it makes deployment harder for everyone.
"I like Damon." Mom patted her hand. "He's a good man."
The change in topic made Grace's pulse accelerate. "He is."
She loved that he had a good relationship with his mom and made the effort to reach out to her often. He often sent Grace inspirational quotes or thoughtful text messages.
"Have you told him yet?" When Grace gave her mom a questioning look, she clarified. "About your baby?"
Grace stiffened. They'd agreed years ago not to talk about it, because every time they did, she grew anxious and had trouble sleeping.
She shook her head. "I tried before he left, but I just couldn't do it. Telling him in a text or email feels like a cop out, but every time we talk, it just doesn't feel like the right time. Nor do I want to distract him from his job."
"I know it's difficult to talk about, but you owe him the truth. Keeping it to yourself will only make it harder to share. It willaffect your relationship." Mom tucked a lock of Grace's hair behind her ear.
"I know, I just..." Grace let her words die off, because she wasn't sure how to finish her sentence.
Mom placed a throw pillow on her lap and encouraged Grace to lay her head on it. She did so, and her mother gently ran her fingers through Grace's hair. "Just pray about it, Mija. You'll find the words eventually."
Grace squeezed her eyes closed to stop the tears that suddenly flooded them. Prayer was mom's answer for everything. It was something Grace had struggled with off and on throughout her life. Especially since her mother's diagnosis.
Despite knowing her time was limited, Mom had found peace. Grace had tried to turn to God because she needed that peace too, but it was slow in coming.
"A little birdie told me you're thinking about going back to school to get your Doctorate of Radiology."
