She bolted to her feet as nervous energy and echoes of painful memories filled her. Twisting her fingers together, she paced a tight line next to the table and rushed on before she lost her nerve. "Remember how I told you about going through a rebellious stage after my dad left?"
His brow furrowed as he nodded. "Yes.”
"I got pregnant." She spat the words out, hoping it would relieve the pressure pushing against her chest. It didn't.
“Wow.” Damon’s brows shot up as he sank back in his seat. “I was not expecting that. I knew you were holding something backbefore I deployed, but...” He shook his head as though at a loss for words.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. It’s just that it’s hard for me to talk about.”
“You can tell me anything, Grace.”
"I’ve tried so many times to tell you. I even tried to email you while you were deployed, but I couldn't go through with it. I’ve rehearsed what I would say, but I could never find the right words." She wrapped her arms around herself as the pressure built behind her eyes.
Damon got to his feet and stepped in front of her. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes of my own. I’m not going to judge you for something you did when you were a teenager.” He took her hands in his. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
Stop living in fear.
She gave a little nod. "Iwantto tell you. I need you to know. I don't want any secrets between us." She shifted from one foot to the other as her chest continued to tighten. "It just might take me a bit to get it all out."
"It's okay. We have all the time in the world." He repeated her words from earlier then pressed his lips to her forehead in another gentle kiss. "Sit down. Let’s eat. Then, if you want to tell me more, you can."
Grace nodded although she doubted she’d be able to eat until she told Damon everything. It took her a whole minute to find the courage to speak. "I told you how angry I was when my dad walked out on us, how I acted out and did a lot of stupid stuff with Zoey."
Damon nodded but remained silent.
"Well, the stupid stuff intensified, the dares getting more and more ridiculous. And...dangerous." She shoved a bite in her mouth and forced herself to chew and swallow beforecontinuing. "When we were sophomores, we got invited to a party by some senior boys. My mom didn't want me to go, but...I said some horrible things to her and stormed out of the house anyway. There was alcohol at the party—a lot of it—and a cute senior boy kept plying me with beer and wine spritzers." Her voice dropped to little more than a whisper as guilt filled her. "And I was so nervous, I kept drinking it, because Zoey had dared me to make out with a senior that night."
She clasped her hands together to hide the trembling in her hands.
"Grace, you don't need to tell?—”
"Yes, I do." She nodded vigorously. "I should have just said no to Zoey and the alcohol. I know that, but with everything going on at home I wanted to fit in. To be accepted."
He scooted his chair closer. She let him turn hers to face him. Then he took her hands in his.
She let out a quick huff before forcing herself to go on. "We started making out, and I was drunk enough to encourage it—and even enjoy it—for a time. When he suggested we find somewhere more private, I hesitated, but Zoey pushed me to go with him. Again, I should have said no, but I’d had enough to drink that I wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Finding privacy proved to be difficult. All the rooms were already occupied, so we ended up in a small laundry room where...things quickly escalated."
"No wonder you don't like small spaces." Damon's expression darkened as he squeezed her hands.
She gave a small nod and a tight smile, attempting to push down the emotions. If she gave in to them, she'd never make it through this.
Despite deciding to spare Damon the horrific details, she couldn't look him in the eyes. "I tried to st-stop things, but he was so intent on—" She sucked in a sharp breath as hot tearsstung her eyes. She attempted to blink them back, but they spilled over and ran down her cheeks. "He was so much stronger than me. The alcohol didn't help." She sucked in another deep breath. "It...all happened so f-fast."
“Oh, Grace.” Damon released her hands, propped his elbows on his knees, and pressed his fingertips to his eyes. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"The party got busted right after it happened. A bunch of kids got arrested, including me." Ashamed, she hung her head. "When I called home from the police station, Gabe answered the phone. He was supposed to be at college, but he'd come home because my mom got news that day that she had breast cancer."
"Rock bottom." Damon lifted his head as he repeated the words she'd used the day they went horseback riding.
"That came a few weeks later, when I realized I was pregnant. It took me another whole month to find the courage to tell my mom and Gabe."
"You didn't tell anyone what happened in that laundry room?"
"Only Zoey. She was so excited I'd lost my virginity that she couldn’t understand why I was upset."
Damon swore under his breath.
