He shrugged. He wouldn't tell her his nightmares had only gotten worse since she came home.
"Thank you for listening." She put her free hand on his arm, sending warmth radiating through him. "And for telling me about your struggles. I know it wasn't easy for you to tell me, but I'm glad you told me."
"I've kept it hidden long enough." He let out a heavy sigh. "I think you're right about getting it out there. It makes it easier to talk about now that you know." He swiped a hand across his mouth. "I may as well be honest with you, I'm really thirsty at the moment. Hearing what you went through has made the cravings stronger than they've been in a long time."
"I'm sorry." She squeezed his hand. "What can I do to help you? Dowe need to find you a stick to whittle?" Her gaze darted to the logs near the fireplace.
He let his gaze follow hers. "Nah, I'll get through it. Just don't be surprised if I suddenly drop and start doing pushups."
Understanding lit her eyes. "That's why you put the gym in that extra room at the stables. You work out when you're craving alcohol?"
"Working out, whittling, riding Rebel, and playing guitar. Those are my coping strategies now."
"Robert mentioned a few weeks ago that you'd learned to play the guitar. You'll have to play for me sometime."
"I'm really not that good. But it keeps my fingers busy and gives my mind something to focus on besides...well, you know." He let go of her hand and stood. "If you help me, we can lift my bunk up and over the table and set it in front of the cabinets over there. This cabin is so small it won't put much distance between us, but?—"
"No. It's fine where it is. I want you close by."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Your presence actually helps ground me."
"Okay then." He shuffled his feet, trying to figure out how to take his damp jeans off and hang them over the other chair to dry without making Riley uncomfortable. He pointed over his shoulder. "I need to use the bathroom before I turn in for the night."
Nodding, she shifted and plumped her pillow.
Praying the night didn't turn out to be a disaster for both of them, he grabbed the lantern off the table and retreated to the bathroom. He'd barely had time to use the facility before a noise in the cabin startled him. The scraping of the bed frame reverberated across the wood floor.
She must have decided she doesn't want me sleeping close to her after all.
He stared at himself in the small circular mirror above the sink. He didn't look any different, but he felt different. Lighter somehow. He'd kept his secrets hidden for so long they had become a heavy burden. One he didn't need to carry alone anymore.
Okay, I haven't exactly been carrying them alone, but I'm glad Riley knows.
Did she feel better after telling him her secrets? As much as it sickened him, it was good to finally understand what she was going through.
The thump of a chair on the floor pulled his attention away from his reflection, and he decided there was no point in delaying the inevitable. He may as well get some sleep while he could in case he or Riley ended up having nightmares tonight.
He turned the wick down on the lantern and doused the flame as he came out of the bathroom, but Riley had loaded more wood on the fire, and firelight illuminated the small cabin. She hadn't moved his bed across the room like he'd thought, she'd pushed the beds together, leaving only a narrow walkway on the outside of each.
He froze. Did she really want him sleeping that close to her? He doubted he'd sleep at all with her in arm's reach.
She lay in her bed facing the wall, her back to him.
Riley lifted her head and looked over her shoulder. "If your jeans are still damp like mine, you can hang them over the other chair. Don't worry I won't peek." She grinned and winked before laying back down, giving him a glimpse of the old Riley.
He cleared his throat. "Are you sure you want the beds so close?"
"I meant it when I said your presence grounds me." The glimpse of the old Riley was gone, and her voice was once again hesitant and meek. "I want to be able to touch you if I have a bad dream."
A spark of warmth filled his chest momentarily taking his breath away.
Good Gravy! This woman sure wove her way back into my heart fast.
He set the lantern on the table and unbuckled his belt. Sending up another little prayer that his heart didn't get broken again, he pulled off his jeans and threw them over the chair. Not wanting to make any sudden movements that would startle or frighten Riley, he took his time settling into the too small bed.
"Is it safe to roll over?"
