"Anyway." She shrugged one shoulder. "I had fun on the date, I guess."
"You guess?"
"I enjoyed swing dancing, even though I had to teach him how, but..."
"But?" Daniel prompted, his voice curious.
Her gaze locked on the bobbing flames in the fireplace. "He made me uncomfortable with how touchy-feely he was. He kept putting hishand on my leg during dinner and playing with my hair and caressing my neck." She shuddered. "He kept saying things that were full of innuendos that made me uncomfortable. I was anxious for the evening to end and relieved when he finally took me home. I got out of his car as soon as he stopped, telling him he didn't need to walk me to the door. But he insisted on being a gentleman and seeing me inside."
She bunched the pillow between her fists. "I had no intention of inviting him in, but he took the key from my hand and opened the door for me. Then he walked inside before I could stop him.” The more she talked, the more tension sharpened her words. "He wandered around my apartment, making small talk the whole time. He asked which bedroom was mine, and when I told him, he joked about finding out all my childhood secrets and walked into my room. I didn't follow him, because the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable. He kept asking questions from inside my room, but I stayed in the doorway as I answered them." She scratched her neck and tugged at the ribbing of her t-shirt that suddenly felt too tight. Trying to follow Emily's counsel, she tapped her fingers against her collar bone.
"He finally came back out and sat on the couch. He patted the cushion beside him and said he wanted to have another stimulating conversation with me, like we had in his car the week before." Her chest continued to grow tight despite her tapping, so she gave up and wrapped another lock of hair around her finger and gently tugged. Just hard enough to keep her grounded in the cabin. "So I sat down, leaving a cushion between us, and we talked. During our conversation, he gradually scooted closer until his leg pressed against mine. When I told him it was getting late, and it was time for him to leave, he asked if he could have a goodnight k-kiss."
"Riley," Daniel said in a hoarse whisper, "you don't have to tell me this." He rubbed a trembling hand over his jaw.
"I think I do." Tears filled her eyes, and she swallowed the lump that filled her throat. "I need you to understand why I freak out like I do." She gave a tight chuckle and motioned toward the window whereshe had stood frozen this afternoon. "It's obvious I'm not coping well. If you know what happened, then maybe it'll be easier to talk about it when I get...triggered."
He nodded, but his face looked grim. "I want to help you any way I can."
Sucking in a deep breath, she picked up her story again. She needed to get it all out now. "I told Collin he was a nice guy, but I wasn't interested in kissing him, because I didn't like him like that. I just wanted to be friends."
"I assume he didn't like that answer?" Daniel's voice was gruff and full of tension now.
"No. He accused me of leading him on by going out with him repeatedly. Then he said I owed him a little something for the expensive dinner he'd bought me."
Daniel snorted, but Riley ignored him and pressed on. "He forced himself on me." She squeezed the pillow tighter, digging her fingernails into the soft batting. "I tried to shove him away, but somehow, he trapped me against the corner of the sofa." She curled her hands tighter until her nails dug into her palms, attempting to focus on the here and now. It was all she could do to keep from scratching at the crawling sensations that raced across her skin. "The way he kissed and t-touched me were barbaric. He kept accusing me of coming onto him all night and saying, 'You know you want it.'"
"Riley," Daniel's strained whisper was barely audible.
"The harder I fought, the more insistent he became." The tears now spilled down her cheeks. She didn't bother wiping them away. More would only follow. "I panicked and froze when I realized he didn’t intend to take no for an answer. I couldn't believe such a horrible thing was happening to me." She shuddered and swallowed hard to dislodge another lump from her throat, then pushed on. "I finally snapped out of it and began to fight him again. But he'd gained the advantage and had me fully pinned against the couch at that point, straddling me." She rubbed absently at her cheek, recalling how coarse the fabric of their cheap couch was.
She gave a self-deprecating chuckle as feelings of being powerlessswamped her. "You know, I grew up working hard and always thought of myself as a strong woman."
"You are strong, Ri!" Daniel’s hand covered hers, then he tensed. Slowly, he relaxed his hold and pulled back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to touch you."
Appreciating his attempt to comfort her and realizing that she hadn't panicked at his touch this time, she reached out and grabbed his hand before he could fully retreat. Holding his hand might ground her better than inflicting pain on herself. She held tight, sandwiching his hand between her palms.
"I wasn't strong enough." She shook her head. "He wasn't that much bigger than me, but he was so strong." Her voice grew a little louder. "The harder I fought, the more excited he became. It was like an adrenaline rush to him. I must have hurt him at one point in my attempt to fight him off because he swore and backhanded me so hard I nearly blacked out..." Her voice trailed off as she brought her left hand to her temple, recalling the splitting pain of that blow. "I was stunned enough that I stopped fighting for a while, and he used that to his advantage. He ripped my shir?—"
A low growl erupted from Daniel, and he bolted to his feet, jerking his hand from hers. "I'm sorry. I know I said I'd help you any way I can, but I can't...sit here and listen to what that bast?—"
"He didn't succeed."
"What?" Daniel spun around. Despite his wide defensive stance, she saw how badly his hands trembled.
"Collin didn't succeed in raping me."
For Daniel's sake she would gloss over how close Collin had actually come to achieving his goal. She'd spare him the graphic details of that scumbag’s savage assault. Details, that when she shared them with Emily last week had made her physically ill to the point that she vomited over the deck railing onto the grass.
"Paige came home before Collin could—" Riley stopped, not wanting to spell out the repugnant details any more than Daniel wanted to hear them.
"Thank goodness." Exhaling abruptly, Daniel dropped down ontothe bed again. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of what you went through. I'm just glad..." His words trailed off.
"Me too."
"That should never have happened to you, though."
He propped his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his hands over his face, then shoved them into his hair. It was the same posture he had at church each Sunday.
