The disappointment I see in my own eyes every time I look in the mirror.
"I know how much you always looked up to Jake and Robert." Riley's voice was gentle, compassionate.
He didn't deserve her compassion. He’d made too many mistakes.
"They were there for me when I went to court. The judge went easy on me because it was my first offense and I plead guilty, but I think Jake and Robert's presence made the judge give me a relatively light sentence. Robert convinced the judge to let me fulfill my sentence here in Providence where I would have the help of family and friends to stay sober. In addition to losing my license and having to attend a sobriety program, I was hit with a hefty fine, a bunch of service hours, and fifteen days in jail. Thanks to the rehabilitation program your dad and uncle started years ago, Jake had no problem persuading the judge to let me do my service here at the Double Diamond, and Robert..." Daniel gave a small smile. "He let me serve my jail time on the weekends from Friday night to Sunday evening. Of course, he dragged my butt to church every Sunday morning. Without the handcuffs, thank goodness."
Two birds that had been flitting through the trees above them darted down to grab small twigs then back up to the treetops.
Daniel lifted his chin and watched them for a moment.
They're building a nest. Planning for the future.
He wished he knew what his future held.
"Until last Saturday, my parents, Jake, Emily, and Robert were the only ones who knew about the accident and my subsequent drinking. Robert may have told Jessie, but I don't think they've told any of therest of your family. I don't think my parents have even told my older siblings. They live so far away, it doesn't really affect them."
"Who did you tell last Saturday?"
"My Alcoholics Anonymous group."
"That's where you go on Saturdays? To AA meetings?"
Had Riley noticed his absence at the ranch? A spark of warmth lit in his chest.
"Yes." He narrowed his gaze on her. "Where did you think I went?"
She shrugged, but the rosy tint in her cheeks piqued his interest.
"Come on, Pockets, tell me where you thought I went."
She plucked a blade of grass. "I thought maybe you had a girlfriend."
Daniel laughed. "Were you jealous?"
"Of course not." More color flooded her cheeks, belying her words.
"Liar."
"Okay, maybe I was a little jealous."
He laughed again. He loved the idea of Riley noticing his absence and being jealous.
As though full of nervous energy, Riley began gathering up the remnants of their lunch, but he wasn't done. He needed to tell her everything.
If there was a possibility of a second chance for them—and he wanted there to be, even though he didn’t feel like he deserved it—she needed to know all his secrets, all his bad choices, all his faults and shortcomings. He wouldn't jeopardize a second chance with Riley by keeping things from her.
He put a hand on her arm then quickly withdrew it before she went ballistic. "There's more I need to tell you."
She stilled and her brows lifted in surprise. "Okay." Despite the encouragement in her words, that guarded tone filled her voice again. "Tell me."
Daniel stared at the water again so he wouldn't see the disappointment in her eyes. "After that summer here at the ranch with my broken leg, I thought I was ready to go back to Portland. By some miracle, the architectural firm agreed to let me come back and finishmy internship." He hung his head. "But I fell off the wagon less than six months later. Right after Jake and Emily's wedding."
Riley's cousins Damon and Paige had come home for the wedding, and it was like old times having the four of them together again. Their presence eased the awkwardness between him and Riley, and it made Daniel long for a second chance with her. That longing triggered something in him, and he started seeing her face on Isaac's lifeless body in his dreams. Sometimes, it was Riley who collapsed in despair and disappointment instead of Isaac's mom.
Emily had told him the reason he kept seeing Riley's face was because of his unresolved feelings for her. He knew she was right, even though he didn't want to admit it. But now that she had come home, he was quickly reaching a point where he could no longer deny it.
"What happened to cause you to start drinking again?"
