"Everything's great." He sucked in a deep breath then let it out again. His lips turned up. "Best it's been in a long time." He stepped into the tack room then right back out again. He tilted his head toward the house. "If you're thirsty, Emily has some lemonade." Then he disappeared inside the tack room.
When he reappeared with a saddle in his arms a few moments later, Riley still sat where he left her, not moving a muscle.
"It's okay, Pockets. You can do it."
Riley didn't know if it was his use of her childhood nickname or the gentleness of his voice, but she found herself standing. She couldn't manage to get her feet to move though.
Daniel stepped a little closer. "You can tell her as much or as little as you want." Then he grinned. "If you want, you can tell her howDamon and I used to torment you and Paige by sneaking frogs into your sleeping bags when we had sleepovers and how that traumatized you for life."
This brought a smile to her face, and she smacked his shoulder. "You guys were awful."
"We really were." He chuckled. "You should go tell Emily how horrible we were." He put a hand on her shoulder and gently nudged her toward the back deck.
That set her in motion, and Riley concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as she walked toward the house. If she stopped and thought about what she was about to do, she'd chicken out because by the time she'd crossed the lawn to the house, she could barely draw in a full breath.
Her boots felt like they were encased in concrete as she climbed the three steps up to the deck. Her heart pounded so heavily in her chest she hardly heard Emily's greeting.
"Hi, Riley." Her sister-in-law didn't seem at all surprised to see her.
"Hey." Riley slipped her hands into her back pockets and rocked forward on her toes, searching for the words she was supposed to say.
How did one admit they were so screwed up they couldn't make it through the day without getting triggered and feeling like they were on the verge of panicking every time they turned around?
When Riley didn't speak, Emily smiled again. "Would you like a glass of lemonade?"
"Yes!" The word exploded out of her before she could stop it, and she hurried over and perched on the second chaise lounge like Daniel had done.
"Great. Let me get another glass." Emily shifted to stand up.
"No, it's fine. I'll just use Daniel's." Riley was afraid if Emily walked away—even for a second—she would chicken out and bolt.
If Emily was surprised by Riley's words, she didn't show it. It's not like Riley had never shared germs with Daniel before. They did it all the time as kids. Then, when they dated three years ago, they'd made out plenty of times.
Emily looked amused as she refilled Daniel's glass with lemonade. "You can sit back and relax, Riley. I know Jake and Zane can be slave drivers sometimes, but I have a little sway there. Don't worry, they won't give you a hard time for taking a break with me."
Riley sat back and put her legs up on the chair, but it didn't help her relax at all. There was simply no comfortable way to say the things she needed to say. She scooted forward again, taking up Daniel's pose again. She rubbed her hands on her dirty jeans, trying to figure out how to get the lump out of her throat.
"What kind of horse is Misty?" Emily asked.
"What?" How could Emily think about horses at a time like this?
"Her smoky gray coat with the black main and tail are beautiful. What breed is she?"
"She's...uh...she's an Arabian."
"Jake said you got her when she was a filly and you named her. Misty is the perfect name."
Riley nodded, still trying to figure out why Emily was talking about horses.
Emily must have seen her confusion because she said. "You didn't come over here to talk about horses, did you?"
Riley shook her head.
"Is there something specific you'd like to talk about?"
Riley nodded, but she couldn't open her mouth. Her heart pounded so hard, she feared it might burst through her ribcage any second. A cold chill swept over her as she tried to formulate the words she needed to say in her head. They felt too oppressive, heavy, and dark.
She stared intently at the wooden slats of the decking, as she focused on bringing air into her lungs and out again. In. Out. She brought her hands together, intending to rub her clammy palms together, but found herself wringing them instead.
