"You are too," he said without hesitation.
Her lips curved in a small smile, but she didn't speak.
He lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. "Why did you think it would hurt me worse if you were around me?"
Her eyebrows rose as a look of surprise crossed her face. "Have you forgotten how I kneed you in the groin because you made the mistake of touching me when I first came home?" She motioned toward the spot in the yard where it happened. "The emotional roller coaster I'm on now is so much worse than last time."
"No, I haven't forgotten. But that physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil I've been through this week."
She winced and lowered her gaze again.
"Not only because you pushed me away but because I was worried sick about you. I honestly had no idea how you were doing. I had to rely on reports from your mom—which weren't positive—and Emily who couldn't divulge anything."
"I know. I'm sorry." Tears filled her eyes, and when she reached out and took his hand, he hung on for dear life. "I told myself I was protecting you from my emotional outbursts, but I was trying to protect myself too. From expectations. From feeling the need to make promises I wasn't sure I could keep."
"I'm not asking you to make me any promises, Ri. Not yet anyway."
"But what if I can't get beyond all of this?" She waved a hand, encompassing her body. "What if I can't handle a normal relationship ever again?"
"You can. You'll see. You just need to give yourself time." He locked gazes with her and squeezed the hand he still held, grateful for the connection. "I'm not going anywhere, Pockets. You take all the time you need."
"Thank you." Her grip tightened, and more tears filled her eyes, spilling onto her cheeks. "I'm trying, but it's so much harder than I thought it would be. Knowing Collin obsessed over me for years and was plotting every time he came into the clinic, has me questioning everyone's motives and fearing every interaction."
"There's no rush.” He grazed his thumb across her knuckles. “You know, after you turned me away Monday evening, I found myself parked outside the liquor store.” He sensed her body tensing, but he kept talking. “I was so tempted to go inside and buy some booze, but I decided to choose love over fear."
“What?”
“Emily always encourages me to choose faith over fear. Faith that I’ll stay sober, instead of fear that I’ll fail someday. But the other day outside the liquor store, I decided to choose love over fear.” He locked gazes with her. “Our love is strong enough to overcome all of our fears if we let it.” Feeling brave, he lifted Riley's hand and pressed a lingering kiss to the back of it. He was almost afraid to open his eyesagain after lowering her hand, but the sigh he heard escaping her lips gave him the encouragement he needed.
Additional tears streamed down her cheeks. "I wish I could show you how much I love you."
"Me too." He squeezed her hand again. "What do you say we take a rain check on that display of affection and go for a ride? I think Misty and Rebel have missed us."
She grinned, a hint of that old spark lighting her eyes. "Sounds perfect."
CHAPTER 26
At the sound of hooves on the nearly frozen ground, Riley straightened from the hearth in the small north cabin. She hurried over to the window and looked out to see Daniel and Rebel cresting the hill.
The mid-November landscape was barren, but this small cabin was warm and cozy.
Her heart did that funny little tap dance thing it did every time she saw him. The man was handsome, sure, but he was so much more than that. He was patient and gentle, understanding and encouraging. She loved him more than she ever thought possible.
She spun around and double-checked the room. A fire blazed in the fireplace and two small dutch ovens sat on either side of the hearth, keeping warm. One contained lasagna, the other peach cobbler. It had been a chilly four-wheeler ride to get here, but since it hadn't snowed yet, she absolutely wanted to do this in the small cabin where she’d experienced two life-changing events.
Her eyes darted to the candles on the table, then to the Scrabble game on the counter of the small kitchenette. She patted her pocket, reminding herself she'd placed all the necessary tiles there earlier. Shecouldn't rely on luck this time. She'd have to cheat if she wanted Daniel to believe she was ready for a serious relationship.
It had been almost five months since her abduction. It had taken her a long time to process all that transpired with Collin, but once she did, she found it easier to separate it from her life with Daniel. She'd been telling him for months that she was no longer bothered by his touch and kisses, but the man was so afraid of triggering her, he often held back.
Hopefully, that would change after tonight. She was ready to start her life with Daniel, and she needed to make sure he knew that. She pulled the lip gloss from her pocket and quickly coated her lips then fluffed her hair, knowing the knit cap she wore on the ride up here had probably flattened her curls.
Her heart beat a little faster in her chest as the hoof beats sounded right outside the cabin. Grabbing the lighter off the counter, she hurried to light the candles on the table.
The door opened just as she straightened.
"Pockets?" Surprise filled Daniel's voice. He blocked the small doorway, holding saddlebags filled with canned goods. "What are you doing here?"
She gave him her biggest smile. "Fancy meeting you here, Tarzan."
