“I mean it, Jess. This is a...complicated situation, but I want what’s best for you and your baby.”
Was it her imagination, or did Robert’s voice drop, taking on a husky tone? His gaze dropped to her lips, and her mouth watered. She sucked in a sharp breath and looked away before she did something crazy.
Like kiss him.
What’s wrong with me?
She’d heard pregnancy hormones often made women more passionate, and wondered if Emily experienced this...influx of desire. She’d chalked the affection between Emily and Jake up to them being newlyweds, but now she wondered if hormones drove a lot of it.
Jessie had never felt the desire to kiss and be kissed with her previous pregnancies like she did now. Of course, any affection she’d felt for Patrick had vanished after the abuse started.
Robert cleared his throat and straightened. “So, have you been on a horse yet? Would you like to go for a ride?”
The thought of riding with Robert like she had in simpler times appealed to her, but a sudden concern for the child she carried gripped her. She didn’t want to do anything to harm her baby. “I rode twice last week, before I realized...” She still had a hard time admitting she was pregnant. “I’m not sure I should ride in my condition.”
His brow furrowed. “Are women not supposed to ride horses when they’re pregnant? I’m pretty sure I remember my mom riding when she was pregnant with Riley.” He grinned and slapped his forehead. “Of course. That’s what’s wrong with Riley.”
Jessie laughed because there wasn’t a single thing wrong with Riley, except that the poor girl had to put up with two older brothers who teased her relentlessly because they adored their younger sister.
Remembering Emily’s counsel to not censure herself, she rose to her feet. “Honestly, I don’t know if women can ride when they are pregnant. I just know I don’t want to lose another baby.”
Robert’s brow furrowed, and his face paled. “Another baby?”
Maybe I should have said that with a little more delicacy.
Robert deserved to hear the truth. “I’ve miscarried twice before. During the first trimester each time.”
The remaining color in Robert’s face vanished, and he pivoted and dropped onto the second step.
“Are you alright?” Jessie sat beside him.
He gave her a tight smile and held up a hand. “Yes, I...just need a minute to...process this.”
Is that why it had been so long since she’d seen him last? Because he’d figured out she was pregnant and needed time to come to terms with it. Did he ever think about the plans they had made to raise a family together? Jessie always hoped their daughters would get his long, thick eyelashes. They’d even discussed names for their future children. He’d wanted to name their first son after his dad. Jessie had always liked Blake Winters. Like Faith, he’d made her feel welcome and part of the family.
She shook her head. She’d never have that with Robert.
Being around him again had awakened a lot of old feelings in her, but it didn’t mean he felt the same. She didn’t deserve a second chance with him.
For the hundredth time since realizing she was pregnant, sorrow washed over her. She was alone in this.
Robert bolted to his feet. “Would you like to go for a walk?”
Sensing his pent-up energy, she rose, too. “Sure.”
Robert led the way toward the northern grazing pastures, keeping a break-neck pace. After a few minutes, she stopped trying to keep up with him and let herself fall behind. He didn’t seem to want to talk, anyway.
How long would it take him to realize she no longer walked beside him?
Judging by the direction he walked, she thought he might be headed to their grove. A place so full of memories, Jessie hadn’t had the courage to visit it yet.
As if suddenly realizing where he was going, Robert’s footsteps faltered. He abruptly changed direction, then walked on, leading them toward the ridge that rose about a mile north of the ranch house. After another thirty yards, he stopped and looked back at her. Pink tinged his cheeks, and he lowered his gaze as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
Jessie bit back a laugh. Robert didn’t embarrass easily.
“Sorry,” he said when she drew near.
She waved away his apology. “I’ve done plenty of stomping around this ranch myself since I realized I was pregnant.”
