“Why did you ask me out, Robert?”
“Which time?” Robert joked. “The second through eighth times were because you kept saying ‘no.’”
Jessie laughed, a light, cheerful sound that made him smile.
“I mean, what did you hope to gain by asking me out?” When Robert didn’t answer right away, she went on. “Do you plan on making me another one of your conquests?”
“Conquests?” Robert couldn’t help but take offense.
Sure, he dated a lot of girls and had made out with a few of them, but that had been mostly their idea and he’d made no promises to any of them. He wasn’t ready to get serious about a girl yet.
But there had been something about Jessie the first time he saw her after her family moved to town that wouldn’t let him forget about her.
“I want to be your friend. I promise I’ll always be here for you, Jessie. No matter what.”
Jessie was always so somber. She looked like she desperately needed a friend. Then her father left his family, and Robert felt bad for her. He’d invited her to come to the ranch to ride horses. He hadn’t considered it a date, but Jessie was reserved, and Robert was persistent.
She’d finally agreed to go out with him, so he’d leave her alone.
A smile pulled at Robert’s lips. Jessie was cute when she got angry.
She’d enjoyed riding horses with him that day, so much so, she agreed to ride with him again the next week. And the next. Sometimes they rode four-wheelers instead of horses, but Robert loved watching her come alive on the ranch.
They could talk about anything; nothing had been off limits. She’d complained about menstrual cramps every time her cycle started, and he’d lamented that Jake might someday be stronger than him. He’d confided in her that as much as he loved the ranch, he didn’t want to be tied to it his whole life. He couldn’t tell his father because he couldn’t bear to disappoint him. And she’d told him of her dreams that she didn’t think would ever come true. Dreams of working at the MET.
They’d come here often. They felt like the only two people on earth when they were in this secluded grove. It had been here that she’d confided in him about how abusive her father had been. And she’d sketched Robert for the first time in this clearing. That was the day he’d realized how talented she was and that she was destined for big things.
He’d fallen for Jessie the first time he took her riding, but she’d friend-zoned him hard. He’d let her because he recognized how badly she needed a friend. It terrified her to care about someone for fear of being hurt, like her father had hurt her when he left his family.
Robert rested his forehead against the smooth bark of the quaking aspen and closed his eyes. He remembered the taste of her lips when they shared their first kiss here. It had taken him months to find the courage to push past the friend barrier.
Jessie didn’t slap him or push him away like he feared she would. She simply asked why he’d kissed her.
“Because I want to be more than your friend, Jess. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn the right to always be by your side. I promise I will always protect you.”
Jessie had simply smiled and said, “Good.” Then she’d kissed him back.
He told her he loved her for the first time in this grove, and six months later, he carved their initials into this aspen tree before they left to go to different colleges. They had promised to call and write to each other, but they’d also agreed they should date other people while they were apart. Robert had taken a few girls out—mostly because his roommates talked him into it. But he couldn’t wait to see Jessie. He lived for the long weekends and summer breaks when they could be together again.
He traced their initials encircled by a heart in the soft bark. The tree had grown. The carving sat higher than he remembered. Bark and sap had peeled outward, making the letters thick—like a painful scar. They looked like Robert’s heart felt.
When Jessie left for New York, he told himself she deserved the opportunity to chase her dreams. He didn’t blame her for leaving. He’d been happy for the possibilities that awaited her. But it still crushed him.
Less than a year later, he heard she was engaged. He’d raced to the ranch that day and ridden for hours. At that point, he knew she’d never come back to him. He’d tried to get over her and move on, but it hadn’t been easy. He’d loved her for eight years. He’d never truly convinced himself there was no use pining for someone who was never coming back.
“But she has come back,” he whispered to the tree.
Not back to him, but back to Providence. Was he an idiot for thinking that maybe things could work out for them this time?
All his buried feelings for Jessie hadn’t wasted time in taking up residence in his heart again. But now she was pregnant with her husband’s child. Would she decide to go back to that monster for the sake of the baby?
Deep down, despite telling himself she was never coming back and would never be his, he couldn’t picture any other woman as his wife or the mother of his children. He’d considered taking a chance with Amy almost two years ago, but Ben fell in love with her, and Amy felt the same way about Ben. It had taken no thought from Robert to step aside and let them find happiness.
He wanted that happiness, too. He wanted what Ben and Amy and Jake and Emily shared, but despite the many women he’d dated over the years, he’d never imagined finding that happiness with anyone but Jessie.
When Robert finally returned to the stables with Zeus, exhaustion consumed him, both emotional and physical. Zeus was a powerful horse, and so were the memories and feelings that pulled at him all evening. He unsaddled and brushed down the stallion before putting him back in his stall and feeding him.
He’d planned to talk to Jake before leaving to discuss security measures, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make his feet carry him to the house.
