“I let it happen. I let him take away everything that mattered to me and change me into a different person. I saw it happening but felt powerless to stop it. Every time I stood up to him, he beat me down. It just became easier not to fight back.”
The walls around Robert’s heart felt tissue-paper thin.
“He may not have let you use your talents, but he could never take away that integral part of you. And he may have made you change your appearance, but it doesn’t make you any less beautiful on the inside.” He lifted a hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear then thought better of it and dropped his hand again.
“But I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t remember why I enjoyed creating things.” She looked at the unfinished canvas.
“Because you’re still afraid,” he said, his voice quiet.
Her gaze locked with his.
Knowing he’d hate himself for touching her, he took her hand in his. “I will do everything I can to keep you safe. But that’s all I can do to help you overcome your fear. The rest must come from you. Let the fear go and focus on finding yourself again.”
“I don’t know how.” The words were little more than a whisper, and tears filled her eyes again.
Stifling the urge to kiss her, to remind her—and maybe himself—of how things used to be, he released her hand touched a lock of hair. “Start with the outside, then when you’re ready, rediscover yourself on the inside.” He dropped his hand, then stood and stepped away to slow his racing heart.
Jessie played with a lock of hair. “You think I should change my hair?”
“I think you should do whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Learn to love yourself again.”Like I still love you.Glad he hadn’t spoken that last part out loud, he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Once you learn to love yourself, then you’ll find your passion for art again.”
“Do you really think changing the outside will help?” She picked at fake fingernails that were long overdue for a manicure.
Was she seeking validation? Did she think she needed his approval?
One thing Robert knew, manicures and haircuts and colors weren’t cheap. He’d learned that when he dated a cosmetologist a few years ago. And Jessie had little money. He pulled out his wallet, glad he’d gone to the bank yesterday. Taking out three fifty-dollar bills, he crouched down in front of her and took her hand. He pressed the folded bills into her palm and closed her fingers around it, trying to ignore the tingles racing up his arm.
“What I think doesn’t matter, Jess. The only person who matters is you.”
Jessie’s eyes widened when she looked at the money in her hand. She jerked her hand back. But Robert had expected her reaction and held fast. He closed her fingers around the cash.
“Consider it a loan, if you want.”
“You’ve done so much for me. How can I possibly repay you?” Her gaze softened, and she tilted her head.
Picking up the canvas that looked finished to him—but Jessie would want to add a million finishing touches to—he held it out to her. “When you’re ready...finish this.”
* * *
Robert followedJake into his office a few minutes later.
“Listen, Jake, I want to thank you and Emily for being willing to take Jessie in. I know having her here puts everyone in danger. And I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to keep her and everyone else safe, but...” He rubbed his jaw and turned toward the window.
“But you’re falling for her again.” Jake’s tone held no criticism, only compassion.
Robert laced his fingers behind his head and watched the horses grazing in the front pasture. He couldn’t look Jake in the eye while he admitted he still cared for Jessie. “I don’t want to love her again.”
“Did you ever stop?”
He swore under his breath as he spun around. “I swear I tried. Why do you think I dated a different girl every month? It wasn’t until Amy came along that I felt any kind of spark.” Heat crept up his neck. He hadn’t meant to admit that out loud.
Jake laughed. “Does Ben know you had a thing for his wife?”
Robert closed the distance between them and grabbed the front of Jake’s shirt. “She wasn’t his wife at the time. I don’t care if you are stronger than me, I’ll pound you if you even hint to Ben that I liked Amy.” It had taken no thought at all to step aside when he realized Ben had found love again. Of course, Amy was just as crazy about Ben.
Jake chuckled again, unfazed by Robert’s threat. “I knew my big brother was in there somewhere.”
Robert released Jake’s shirt and plopped down on the sofa. “I haven’t really been myself, have I?”
