Instinctively, Emily bent her elbow and flexed her arm. When she’d gotten her casts off a month ago, walking had felt so foreign.
It had been six weeks since she buried her brother. She’d stayed with Joe and Beth for a week before returning to her condo. After another week, she’d begged Joe to let her return work—for her sanity’s sake. Sitting at home and missing not only Cameron, but Jake too, had driven her crazy.
“I know you still believe in God,” Joe said, pulling her thoughts away from Jake. “but do you trust Him?” His eyes bore into hers. “Suffering the kind of loss you have, it’s understandable that you question God’s love for you. But you need to recognize that the events that took your dad’s and Cameron’s lives were set in motion years ago because of one man’s selfish choices. God didn’t take your father and brother from you, Maxwell Garrison did.”
Balling her fists, Emily tamped down the anger that consumed her every time she heard Max’s name. Forgiveness wasn’t a possibility. Not for a very long time. The anger and hatred would eat at her if she didn’t let it go. But she couldn’t. Not yet.
Being alone, she struggled with enough, she didn’t need to fight that battle too. It was easier not to think about the person responsible for Dad’s and Cameron’s deaths. It was the only way she’d been able to cope.
“God, however, was mindful of you,” Joe continued. “Being able to escape that trunk when you did was not a coincidence, Em.”
Emily had regained her full memory except her escape from the trunk of that car. She remembered the inescapable fear she’d felt when the two men shoved her in there, knowing they planned to kill her. And she remembered Jake trying to calm her as she lay on the floor in the back of the car. But she had no idea how she’d managed to escape from the trunk into the back seat. It remained a blank spot in her memory.
“Emily, He brought you to people who would not only take care of you but also care about you. He didn’t leave you alone.”
This wasn’t the first time Joe had led their talks around to Jake. He knew she missed the compassionate, handsome rancher. She fought the urge to call him daily. Joe kept telling her she didn’t need to fight it, but she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to make rational emotional decisions.
So many things still felt out of her control, and she hated it.
What if it was only her desire to have a family again that attracted her to Jake? Her heart began to race as she thought of the warmth and security she’d experienced in his arms.
He didn’t leave you alone.Joe’s words pierced Emily’s thoughts and struck something deep inside her.
Shehadfelt so alone. And she’d blamed God for that because he hadn’t stopped Maxwell Garrison. But Max had been on this path for ten years. How many times had God tried to change Max’s course? But Max refused, and her brother and father had paid the price. God had spared her though. He’d led her to people who would care about her.
Peace flooded over her, filling every cell in her body with warmth and love, as she acknowledged this truth.God loves me, and I am not alone.
Her thoughts turned to Jake again. She loved him, and she was certain he loved her too. This was so much more powerful than anything she’d felt for Trent. Jake was her rock. She felt safe with him. She felt whole. She didn’t need to be alone.
She only needed to trust God and let Jake in.If he still wants me.
Hope filled her chest, stealing her breath, and the peace that had settled over her was so intense she began to cry. The tears flowed hot and heavy, but she didn’t try to stop them. She didn’t care that Joe sat across from her, watching. She simply propped her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands.
These weren’t tears of sadness for those she’d lost. They were tears of joy because of God’s love for her and the things He’d given her.
The tears were cleansing and healing. Somehow, amid her crying, she found peace in being alone, and recognized that she didn’t need to be.
It was her choice.
* * *
Jake cursed under his breath.“Can you reach that nut?”
Now free of his cast, Daniel dropped to his knees and reached under the tractor. “Chill man, I got it.”
Jake took the nut from Daniel’s grimy hand with his equally filthy one and fit it onto the bolt. Daniel’s reminder to chill grated on his nerves.
Jake had been unbearable the past six weeks. The hole in his heart had made it difficult to eat, sleep, and even breathe at times. Worrying about Emily and whether he would ever see her again kept him on edge. So much so, he’d avoided everyone as much as possible.
Daniel had been as upset as Jake when he returned from the funeral without Emily. But the kid was working hard to stay sober. He’d kept an incredibly positive attitude since his court appearance a month ago that resulted in a mandatory sobriety program, suspension of his license, a five hundred dollar fine, one hundred service hours, and fifteen days in jail—to be served on weekends.
What bothered Jake the most was that Emily had invited Daniel to come in for counseling. He knew it was purely a professional relationship, but it hurt all the same. Emily was doing well enough to return to work, but she hadn’t contacted Jake. He’d also heard through the family grapevine that Ben had met with her a couple times too, concerning the sale of her father’s company.
Shehadsent a message with Daniel for him though. A message that eased his concern a little but made him miss her even more. “Tell Jake I’m eating plenty of strawberries along with everything else.”
The memory of Emily licking strawberry juice from her lips sent an electric shock through him. And he was right back to thinking about Emily’s lips again. That’s what caused him to drop the nut in the first place.
With each day that passed since that message three weeks ago, Jake’s hopes of hearing from Emily dimmed.
