For me.
Just like she’d climbed onto Honey’s back to ride with him even though she’d been terrified. She was here because he needed to be here.
He recalled the first time he brought Melanie to Scooters. The different dance steps had frustrated her too, but she was naturally graceful and had quickly picked up the moves. She’d loved swing dancing, often insisting he dance with her in the kitchen while they fixed dinner.
Every time he’d held her in his arms, he’d forgotten the rest of the world existed. Dinner had burned on multiple occasions when their dancing in the kitchen had led to other things.
Determined not to fight the memories, Ben shifted his chair back and leaned his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and let the music carry him away. For the third time today, he cherished the memories. Melanie’s smile and excitement for new things brought a smile to his face. The feel of her in his arms, the sound of her voice when she whispered seductively in his ear, then laughed, letting him know she was teasing. Remembering the intimate moments brought a flush to his cheeks.
Life had been wonderful with Melanie. Almost perfect.
But that life was over. He didn’t want it to be, but he needed to accept it, because no amount of wishing, or praying, would change the fact that his wife and daughter were gone.
He pondered on his experience at the cemetery. Peace still enveloped him. He missed Melanie and Cassey terribly. He would continue to mourn them for a long time but, for the first time in a year, he felt like maybe he could go on living without them.
Opening his eyes, he contemplated joining the others on the dance floor. Jake stood behind Amy with his hands on her hips, guiding her through the steps, his head bent close to her ear. Was he telling her the dance moves or whispering something else entirely? Irritation flared as he thought about Robert’s and Amy’s Friday lunch dates.
Why was he jealous? He was mourning his wife. He shouldn’t be interested in another woman yet. So why was he always thinking about Amy? And why did he want so badly to take her in his arms and kiss her again?
Did the sun shining on her at the cemetery mean something? Or was it only a coincidence?
Stop trying to over analyze it. You’re making mountains out of molehills.
Standing, he shook off his somber mood and headed toward the dance floor. Maybe his rusty dance moves would make Amy feel better.
* * *
Ben parkedbehind the repair shop and walked Amy to her car. He was both relieved and disappointed to have this day come to an end.
“Thanks for letting me spend the day with you,” Amy said.
“No, thankyou. It’s been a rough day, but you helped me through it.” He swept Amy into a hug. When she tensed, he told himself to let her go, but she relaxed into him before he could.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and Ben relished her touch. Holding her felt right, somehow. He waited for the guilt to hit. When it didn’t, he tightened his embrace. He wanted to enjoy this one moment with her.
Despite the activities of this Fall day, she smelled like spring. Like sunshine and flowers. Happiness and anticipation. She felt as good as she smelled. If he kissed her again, would it be as amazing as last time?
Yes.He was sure of it, but tonight was not the right time to find out. Reluctantly, he released her.
Amy looked as disappointed as he felt, but she quickly hid it by pulling the package of handkerchiefs from the grocery bag she carried. She pressed them to his chest. “Don’t fight the memories, Ben. They’re part of you, but don’t let them keep you from living your life.”
She slipped into her car, and Ben watched her drive away before climbing the stairs to his apartment.
Had he only been gone twelve hours?
Everything he’d experienced today had made the day seem to last an eternity. Without turning on a light, he went straight to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled off the borrowed boots and opened the package of handkerchiefs, this time, prepared for the familiar scent. He laid back on the bed, inhaling deeply, a smile on his face.
