Ben mumbled something, and Steven released him.
Before Steven walked away, he brushed Amy’s arm behind Ben’s back. She glanced over her shoulder to see him giving her a thumbs up. The family grapevine must be working overtime.
When they arrived at the cemetery, Amy climbed out of the truck and stared at the sky. Clouds had continued to move in until the whole sky was overcast. The temperature hadn’t dropped though, nor did it look like it would storm. She hoped the weather held.
Amy helped Ben carry the three packages of flowers to Melanie’s headstone, where she spotted a vase attached to the monument.
“Do you mind if I arrange some flowers in the vase?”
Ben shrugged, and Amy set to work. She arranged flowers from each of the packages together in the vase, doing her best to make them presentable despite not having anything to trim the stems with. Putting the remaining flowers together in a semblance of an arrangement, she wrapped plastic around them, and laid them on the ground next to the granite.
Gathering the remaining wrappers, she stood beside Ben. She studied the small oval frame embedded in the headstone with a picture of Melanie, and her chest grew tight. She was a beautiful woman, who’d died so young.
She turned to Ben. “If you’d known how things would turn out, would you have still married her?”
Anger flashed in Ben’s eyes, like she’d expected.
She grabbed his arm. “Cherish the life you had with her, Ben. Instead of regretting the life you didn’t get to have.” She paused to let her words sink in. “Take all the time you need.” She squeezed his arm and walked away.
She wandered aimlessly, looking at various headstones. Looking, but not really seeing. Her thoughts were on the man who stood alone at his wife’s grave. Ben had endured so much. His life had been perfect with a beautiful wife and baby girl with the possibility of more children. Then suddenly everything was gone.
Her sorrow for Ben turned to anger. How could someone have been so selfish and callous to not seek medical help for Melanie? Instead, they walked away with her child? Ben’s whole world was gone in a single, selfish act.
She pulled her phone out and studied the picture she’d sent from Ben’s phone. If she could figure out where she’d seen this baby, maybe she’d have a clue to where Ben’s daughter was.
She let out a frustrated growl. It was futile. She simply couldn’t remember.
Glancing in his direction occasionally, Amy wandered back to the truck to wait for Ben.
* * *
Ben droppedto his knees in front of Melanie’s headstone. He closed his eyes and inhaled the fragrant scent of the flowers Amy had arranged.
He was glad he came.
Despite his desire to sleep through this difficult day, it had never been his intention to let the day pass without bringing flowers. He brought flowers often, but today’s visit felt different.
In the past. his heart had always been filled with bitterness and anger. Anger at the person who caused the accident. Anger at Melanie for leaving him alone. Anger at law enforcement, who had come up empty-handed in the search for his daughter. And anger at God for allowing it all to happen.
He thought about Amy’s words. If he’d known Melanie would be taken from him so soon, he would have married her. He’d loved her deeply.
He’d been unprepared for the powerful memories and emotions that had swept over him with the scent of her perfume. It had carried him back to the janitor’s closet of the building they’d both worked in. He’d kissed her for the first time in that closet, her perfume blocking the odor of the cleaning products. He remembered how she smelled when she greeted him at the end of the day by wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.
“I’m so sorry.” A sob tore from his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Please forgive me for my stubbornness. For my reluctance to remember and cherish everything we had.” His throat grew so tight, it choked off his words. He begged Melanie’s forgiveness in silence.Forgive me for not being able to find Cassey and care for her. Forgive me for enjoying riding horses without you and enjoying the time I spent talking to Amy.
A sensation of warmth flooded Ben even though he hadn’t felt cold. He opened his eyes.
The sun had broken through the gathering clouds, shining directly on him. He glanced around, realizing it shone only on him. Six feet away, the headstones and grass remained in shadows. He searched for Amy. He spotted her sitting on a bench near the truck with her back to him. She too, had a ray of sun shining directly on her, causing her platinum hair to shine like a halo, much like it had the first time he saw her.
He discounted it as an odd coincidence until a peaceful feeling surrounded him—a warmth that radiated from within—so powerful he had to question where it came from. He’d never felt like this before when visiting Melanie’s grave. Peace was something he hadn’t felt in forever.
All the anger and bitterness he’d harbored for the past year dissipated. He couldn’t understand what had changed, but the fear and pain he’d lived with the past year seemed to lose their grip on him. Even the guilt he’d experienced today felt insignificant compared to the warmth and love that encompassed him.
Melanie’s love for him. That’s what it was.
He sensed her presence, and that she wanted him to accept the things that had happened and find a way to move on. Ben closed his eyes again, trying to absorb everything he felt.
“I love you.” Could she feel his love the way he felt hers?
