“Something embarrassing?” A spark of amusement lit Robert’s eyes.
“No, something hurtful. He said he wasn’t mad at me, but I’m mad at me, and I don’t know how to make it right.”
“What did you say?”
Remembering her breakdown last night, she didn’t dare tell him for fear of a repeat of last night’s waterworks. She shook her head and bit her lip.
Gratefully, he took the hint and let it go.
He stood. “I wouldn’t worry about it. Ben asked Jake and me if we wanted to go four-wheeling and shooting on Friday. He hasn’t done that in over a year, so I don’t think he’s too upset.”
Robert’s words made her feel better, but relief swept over her at quitting time.
When she prepared for bed that night, she spotted Ben’s truck parked in front of Debbie’s house.Again?Why did he spend so many evenings with her? Did he seek comfort in Debbie’s arms despite his grief?
Remembering Ben’s reaction to their kiss last Thursday, she doubted it. She touched her lips. They’d agreed to forget the kiss ever happened, but she couldn’t. She’d replayed it in her mind dozens a times, and every time, she couldn’t deny she’d responded and enjoyed the kiss. Worse, she longed for a repeat.
Then it hit her. Today was Thursday. Ben never came to mow, like he did the last two Thursdays. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she closed the blinds and undressed.
Temperatures are dropping. The grass isn’t growing as fast. It doesn’t need to be mowed as often now.
Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d eventually believe it and wouldn’t feel so horrible.
* * *
Ben squeezed one eye shut,sized up the target, and pulled the trigger. Bullseye.Finally.Not dead center, but at least he’d hit the center ring with that shot.
Rusty. That’s what he was. Not just at shooting either. Working his way through the gears on the four-wheeler had resulted in a choppy ride until he’d relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy doing something that used to be second nature to him. They’d ridden for nearly an hour across the ranch’s varied landscape before heading to the shooting range.
A measure of peace had settled over him like a favorite, comfortable sweatshirt as they’d ridden over barren foothills—common in this region of southeastern Washington—to fertile pasturelands and on to greener alfalfa fields.
Both Robert and Jake offered encouragement, commenting on how glad they were he’d come. They watched him like hawks, though. He wasn’t sure what they were looking for, but it made him feel like a child.
As Ben strapped his gun back onto his four-wheeler, Robert disrupted the peace he’d found tonight.
“Amy was pretty upset yesterday.”
Ben’s hands froze. He straightened and met Robert’s eyes.
“Did she say why?”
“She felt bad about something she said to you. She said it came out all wrong.”
“Did she tell you what she said?”
“No. Do you want to tell me?” Robert emptied the shells from his gun.
Ben turned his face toward the setting sun. Tonight’s sunset, with golden rays arcing up from the horizon, wasn’t as beautiful as the one he’d watched with Amy, right before he kissed her. Warmth settled in his stomach—as it did every time he thought about their kiss. She felt bad for her careless words, but he’d been the one out of line last week. She’d quickly forgiven his actions, but he couldn’t forgive himself so easily.
Will it always be like this?Every time he attempted to start living again, something or someone reminded him of his situation. Amy’s words had been like a slap in the face, but he knew she didn’t mean them, and he wasn’t upset with her. He was upset with himself.Why do I allow these things to bother me?
He scowled at Robert. “No.”
If he told his two best friends what Amy said, they might think less of her. He didn’t want that. His problems didn’t need to be their problems.
“Fine. But are you mad at her?”
Ben let out a sigh and dropped onto the seat of his four-wheeler. “What she said hurt, because it was true. I know she didn’t mean to say it, so I’m not mad at her. But when she started crying...” He shrugged his shoulders. “I tried to reassure her everything was okay, but I couldn’t comfort her, so I left.”
