He put her legs in her pajamas and zipped them up. Then he nuzzled her tummy and neck with his chin. She squealed and laughed until tears filled her eyes.
Tears filled Ben’s eyes too, but they weren’t from laughter.
He had been able to elicit giggles from his Cassey by nuzzling her neck, but nothing like the squeals that came from Kallie. Now that his princess was older, would she respond like this little angel?
He’d never get to find out.
Heaviness filled his heart as he read Kallie her bedtime stories. She grew sleepy in his arms, but he loathed the thought of putting her in bed. His arms and heart would feel so empty.
After laying her down, he took another picture to send to Amy.
“Night-night,” he whispered, stroking her cheek one last time.
Kallie waved, giving him a sleepy smile, and his heart twisted.
He returned to the family room and turned on the television on. He needed a movie with some action and a fast moving-plot to dispel the loss that consumed him.
An hour later, he turned the TV off after hearing Kallie cry. Amy hadn’t said what to do if she woke up. Should he leave her? Give her a hug and lay her back down? Or rock her back to sleep?
He chose the latter. Not because Kallie needed it, but because he did. For a few minutes, he needed to hold this sweet little angel and pretend he hadn’t failed his own daughter.
* * *
When Amy returned,the house was dark except for a lamp in the corner of the family room. She walked in to find Ben asleep in the recliner with Kallie sound asleep on his chest, one large, masculine hand on her back. She stood for a moment, taking in the scene. Another chunk of her frozen heart thawed at the domestic sight.
Ben’s face looked so peaceful. This was the most pleasant expression she’d seen on his face since her arrival in Providence, except when he teased her.
She touched his arm. “Ben.”
He blinked and instinctively put his other hand on Kallie’s back. Amy whispered his name again, and he finally acknowledged her presence.
“You should have put Kallie in her bed,” she whispered.
“I did, but she woke up crying about an hour ago.”
“She would have gone back to sleep if you’d given her a hug and laid her back down.”
“But that’s no fun.”
“You’ll spoil her.”
He grinned. “Maybe, but that’s your problem. Not mine.”
Amy propped her hand on her hip and scowled at him. “Do you want me to take her?”
“No, I’ll take her back to bed.” He lowered the legs of the recliner and held Kallie tight as he stood.
Remembering what happened the last time Ben carried Kallie to bed, Amy waited in the hall until he came out of the room.
“Where’s your dad?”
Ben shrugged. “He got called into the hospital hours ago.”
“I’m sorry you had to tend her by yourself.”
“Why? Did you doubt I could handle it?”
“Not at all. I know you used to be a father.”
