“I’m so glad you’re staying here.” Paige said, abruptly changing the subject again.
“Me too. I'm grateful for your family’s generosity.”
“I know your job at the sheriff’s office is temporary, but I hope you can find something permanent, and stay in Providence.”
“I’d like to stay.” Goosebumps covered Amy’s skin as she said the words. She meant what she said. She wanted her fresh start to be in Providence.
“You have to stay. There aren’t near enough single women in this small town for my handsome brother and cousins.”
Amy sucked in a sharp breath, inhaling her saliva. She coughed as heat flooded her cheeks.What do I say to that?Ben and his cousins were handsome. She’d said as much to Ben last night. Strong too. Each of them had carried with ease. Their attention gave her bruised ego a boost.
“Listen Paige, I don’t think you should get your hopes up about Ben being able to move on anytime soon.”
Paige let out a sigh. “I know. But you’re good for him.
“Me?” Amy gasped. “I’m not... I don’t... I could never... do... or say—”
“Stammering again?” Ben stepped onto the patio, approaching from somewhere in the backyard. His sapphire-blue eyes twinkled with amusement.
Another wave of heat hit Amy’s face. Where did he come from? Had he heard them talking about him?
“By the way, Amy, I insisted Ben come for dinner, since I’m leaving tomorrow.” Paige stood and handed Kallie to her brother. “Go, wash her up, please.” Paige sat back down after Ben left. “I don’t expect any miracles, but you and Kallie have helped him. I’ve seen him smile more in the last few days than he’s in the last eleven months. I know it’s because of you.”
“But I can’t... I don’t—”
Paige put a hand on Amy’s arm. “Just be yourself. It’s enough.” She went into the house, leaving Amy alone.
The problem was Amy didn’t feel like herself when Ben was around. She was normally confident and outgoing, but it seemed every time he was around, she became a bumbling idiot.
Was it because she felt bad for all he’d lost or because she was so attracted to him?
* * *
“Ben,wait. Can I talk to you for a minute?” Paige followed him out the back door.
Ben froze and bit back a groan. He was trying to make a quick escape after dinner, but Paige wasn’t having it. Every time he’d looked at Amy across the table during dinner, he’d remembered how delicate her hand had felt in his. He’d wanted so badly to pull her into his arms and comfort her last night. To assure her she was a good person, despite her circumstances.
Good thing his mom and Paige had come home when they did. If Ben had pulled Amy into his arms, there’s no telling what might have happened. And he couldn’t let anything happen between him and Amy, or any woman for that matter. He wasn’t ready to move on. He doubted he’d ever be ready.
It would be wrong of him to lead a woman on, especially someone as fragile as Amy was right now.
Ben leaned against the support pillar and shoved his hands into his pockets. “What is it, Paige?”
Paige wrapped her arms around herself. “I thought a lot about what you said—about rubbing a sore muscle.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed. Paige’s face held a mixture of concern and caution. She was afraid he might push her away as he’d done with his family in the past. Part of him longed to do exactly that. Unfortunately, doing so hadn’t helped him in the long run.
Paige stepped closer. “Sometimes, the best way to ease the soreness in a muscle is to exercise it.”
Ben scowled. “What are you saying?”
“You’ve lost so much, Ben.” Her voice grew husky. “You’ve suffered more than any of us can comprehend. I’m not saying you need to move on, because I know without closure that’s almost impossible.”
He clenched jaw as heat rushed through his body. How could his own sister rip open these wounds?
“Sometimes, when it hurts to use a muscle, we compensate by not using it.” Paige paused and waited for him to meet her eyes. “That’s what you’ve been doing. You’re not living, Ben. You’re simply existing and your muscles are atrophying. I know you’re still grieving, and that’s going to take time, but I’m afraid if you don’t get up and move, you’ll waste away, and we’ll lose you.”
Swallowing the lump that clogged his throat, Ben looked away, into the shadows of the backyard. Shadows as dark as those that had taken over his life. Paige’s words stung, but they were true. It had taken monumental effort to make himself go to the ranch yesterday, and despite the connection he’d felt with Amy last night, he’d found it equally hard to make himself come be with his family tonight.
