Jake threw back his head and laughed.
She liked his laugh. And his scent.
* * *
Ben breathedin the fresh ranch air. He was alone on the back-porch swing, but he doubted it would stay that way. It wouldn’t be long before, another family member told him how glad they were to see him.
In the past year, he’d avoided many family get-togethers, preferring solitude to the well-meaning comments and pitying stares. His family meant well, but he found it hard to be around them. Every time he forced himself to come to one of these things, they took it as a sign he was doing better.
Their cheerful smiles and the same question, ‘How are you doing?’ again and again, had turned him into a liar. He couldn’t tell them the truth. He couldn’t tell them today was as hard as every day had been for the last eleven months. The loss, the pain, and loneliness were all still there. They’d become his constant companions. Sometimes, making it difficult to even breathe. He feared they’d never go away.
That’s what scared him the most. Fear that the pain might never go away.
Paige dropped onto the swing with Kallie in her arms. “Hi.” She let out a deep sigh, then remained silent while she rocked the toddler on her lap.
Something is wrong. Paige’s never this quiet.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, as another sigh escaped.
“You want to talk about it?” He didn’t want to press her, but she obviously needed to talk to someone. She never hid her feelings well, nor was she the type to hold things in.
“I found out Riley and Daniel have become a thing.”
“A thing? As in, they’re dating?” He’d noticed the two of them seemed especially close today. When had that happened? Maybe if he came around more often, he’d know these things. It looked like both Steven’s and Matt’s wives were expecting again. Isabella was beginning to show, and Maria looked like she had about a month left. His mother had probably told him, but he hadn’t let it register. He didn’t pay much attention to other people’s happiness.
“When did this happen?” he asked.
“This summer, while I was away.”
“Does their being together bother you?”
“I don’t know, sort of, I guess.” She played with Kallie’s curls.
Ben curled his fingers into a fist, the urge to run his own fingers through the toddler’s blond curls overwhelming. “You don’t think they are right for each other?”
“Actually, they’re perfect for each other. They seem happy.”
“Why does it bother you so much then?”
“I don’t know. They’re kind of young. I mean, I know I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”
“Are they talking marriage?” If they were, he would have to agree with Paige. Technically, they weren’t too young, but marriage was a big deal. They should at least finish their schooling first.
“No, I don’t think they’re that serious. They’ve only dated for two months”
“They’ll be going off to different colleges soon. I bet, once they face a long-distance relationship, it doesn’t last.”
“You’re probably right. It’s just weird how it happened, you know? I mean, the three of us have always been so close. And Damon too, but he didn’t spend as much time at the ranch as I did. We’ve always done everything together, except when Daniel left for college two years before us. I feel left out, I guess. I went from being a three musketeer, to a third wheel.”
Ben didn’t know what to say. This was difficult for Paige. It had been a similar situation for him when he and Melanie moved back to Providence. He’d still enjoyed hanging out with Robert and Jake, but things had changed. Almost overnight, he’d somehow grown up and moved on without them. Not that Robert and Jake were immature, they weren’t. But marriage had changed him, and they stayed the same. Besides, he’d preferred spending time with his wife.
“It’s hard feeling like everyone has move on without you, you know?” she asked.
“I know,” he said without hesitation.
Paige put a hand on his arm. “Oh Ben, I’m sorry. That was so insensitive of me. Of course, you do. Better than anyone.”
