Riley hums softly. “Once again, I think it comes down to the question: would you want to?”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know.”
As she hears those words leaving her own mouth, she wonders if they’re true. It’s what she’s been telling herself from the beginning: kissing a woman is fine, but anything more—no, that makes it too real.
Just the idea of undressing and being undressed, having to caress boobs or a pussy, with her hands, fingers, or god forbid, her tongue… She wouldn’t even know what to do.
Sure, she can imagine it when she reads about it, but ifshehad to be the one doing it… Her brain can’t even go there. The thought alone has always made her shiver.
But that conviction had been from a time when, if she were to imagine herself touching a female body, it would be the body of an unknown, random woman. Just skin, muscles, birthmarks, nipples, body hair, a vulva; all of it on one torso with a faceless head.
She slowly comes to the realization that the person sitting in front of her does have a face, and not even an ugly one at that.
It’s notjusta face either; she has charisma, she has opinions, she has her own ideas. She has this look in her eyes, and a way with words. She has a deep and lasting effect on Charlotte. She has a beautiful body which she wouldn’t mind studying for hours. She has a personality, and she has a name. Riley.
And that switches things up.
“Actually… I do know. I know I want to.”
It makes sense now. She doesn’t want or need a random woman; she wants Riley, who just happens to have those features she’s so scared of exploring on a different body than her own.
Features which now, from this new perspective, seem a lot more appealing and have an interesting effect on her libido.
“I just don’t know how. I’m not ready. I’m so scared to… get it all wrong.”
When Riley doesn’t immediately answer, she bashfully looks up through her eyelashes.
“As long as everything that happens is consensual, there is very little you can do wrong,” Riley says with an encouraging smile. Then, after taking a breath, she adds: “And I’m sure the first woman you’ll sleep with, will agree with me.”
Charlotte shakes her head in confusion.What?
“Wait, is that not going to be you?” she asks out of pure astonishment, but as soon as the words leave her mouth, her eyes go wide.
Oh my god.Can she drown herself here? If she submerges herself all the way, how long would it take to actually die? Are there any other possibilities? She could always fling herself off the roof.
Charlotte is used to Riley’s smugness and her smirks, but when she looks up at Riley this time, she’s not sure she has ever seen her this self-satisfied.Shit.
“I’m not sure I’m your best option,” Riley acts all timidly. “I’m a bad teacher, remember?”
Charlotte scoffs. “Please. I wouldn’t want to sleep with you as my teacher, but as my—”
Her words get stuck in her throat. How does she manage to turn this into even more of an awkward confession?
“As your what?” Riley asks, and that hopelessly disarming smirk is back.
“Shut up,” Charlotte snaps, deliberately splashing her with a large amount of water. It’s a larger wave thanshe’d meant to hit Riley with, but honestly, she deserved it.
Riley swipes her dripping hair back, uncovering a devilish expression on her face. Charlotte gulps. She half expects Riley to get back at her, but the other woman seems to be choosing the high road by taking long, slow breaths through her nose.
“Just remember what I told you a few months ago, Charlotte,” she says calmly, closing her eyes and leaning back against the edge of the tub. “If you’re ever ready, you know where to find me. Just say the word.”
Charlotte decides that that’s a dick move, because by closing her eyes, Riley has made it totally her call whether she wants to continue this conversation, and ultimately whether she wants to take initiative in asking for what she wants. Thoughtful bastard.
Charlotte huffs and leans her head back. “Why can’t there just be… some gateway, instead of having to dive all the way in?”
“We can make one,” Riley suggests. “We can just talk about it.”
“Talk about what?” Charlotte knows the answer, but she needs Riley to be clear.
