Instead of walking, Riley stays rooted in place. Charlotte assumes she needs directions so she points in the direction of the reception, but Riley sets her suitcase straight up to open her arms wide.
“Well?” she calls out, wiggling her fingers. “Are you gonna come down or what, Juliet?”
Charlotte laughs heartily. There’s a warm feeling in her stomach that spreads like a wildfire.
“I’m not sure that’s the correct line, Romeo!” she yells back with her hand curved around her mouth. “Gimme 30 seconds!”
She turns around and all but stumbles back into her room, rushing to the floor length mirror to check herself out. Tugging on the hem of her sundress, she angles herself to check out her legs: yeah, she’s ready.
Before she leaves, she takes her sunglasses off her face and places them on top of her head so they function like an elegant hair band. Snatching the key card from thenightstand, she exits the room and starts speedwalking down the hall, until she realizes how ridiculous she looks and she forces herself down to a lazy strut. The elevator ride takes about three damn business days to get down, but when the door opens, she already catches sight of Riley, patiently waiting in the entrance hall.
Riley notices her too, and raises her wrist to tap at a fake watch.
“That was at least two minutes, Charlie. Who do you think you are to keep me waiting?” she smirks. Charlotte narrows her eyes, wags her finger at Riley, and walks up to her with her arms outstretched.
“Shut up, idiot. Come here.”
They slide into each other’s arms, snug like two puzzle pieces. Riley’s perfume enters her nose and she inhales deeply. Not wanting to make their embrace uncomfortably long, Charlotte pulls back relatively quickly, but Riley doesn’t let go yet. Charlotte tightens her grip again and allows herself to bury her nose in Riley’s hair. Damn, that smells good. She would recognize this scent anywhere as it’s so undoubtedly Riley, only this time it does something different to her than the last time she’d smelled it.
“Hmm. It’s so good to see you again,” Riley whispers in her ear, just before they let go. The low humming of Riley’s voice sends a heatwave down her body—which could actually just be the remnants of the book she’d just read, she convinces herself. Still, Charlotte’s words catch in her throat, so her brain is working overtime to comeup with something else to say, until there’s a voice behind her.
“Riley!”
Charlotte spins around and watches Gabi and Lou exit a different elevator, holding hands, of course. Lou lets go of Gabi’s hand to sprint at Riley, who almost gets tackled to the floor from the force of Lou’s hug. Gabi trails behind her, more restrained than Lou, but definitely happy to see her fiancée’s friend. Waiting for her turn to greet Riley while Lou seems to be squeezing the last living breath out of her, Gabi eyes up Charlotte, who quickly looks away.
“How was Europe? Did you just land? Are you hungry?” Lou asks her once she finally lets go, and Riley dramatically rubs her throat.
“Good, yes, and no,” Riley smiles weakly. “I’d be so happy to catch up, but would you mind if I just check in and take a nap first? This jet lag is absolutely destroying me and I cannot promise that I won’t become physically violent within the next twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, of course,” Lou nods understandingly. “Do you need help at all?”
“It’s not my first check-in,” she shrugs. “I’ll see you all later?”
“Let’s have dinner tonight? The four of us?” Gabi suggests.
“Oh hell yeah,” Riley replies, making it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.
As Riley walks off, Charlotte can’t help but wonder which room will be hers.
She spends the rest of the afternoon in the sun with a drunken smile on her face. She blames the mimosas, and the smutty story of course.
Paddling by the edge of the pool, she thinks about what the last six weeks have done to her. A few months ago, she would’ve never thought to doubt her sexuality, let alone explore her sapphic side. And yet, here she is; imagining a pretty filthy scene in her head, checking out other women by the pool from behind the safety of her sunglasses—not to shamelessly ogle, but for science—and feeling all giddy, knowing that the person who has awoken this side of her is in close proximity.
She may not be ready for any next steps, but at least Riley has convinced her to open herself up to the variety of possibilities to explore this without actually having to touch or be touched.
‘What’s stopping you from just… looking?’she imagines Riley’s voice in her head.'You can literally just check someone out and ask yourself whether you could be into them or not. You don’t have to tell anyone anything, nobody has to ever know. And the best thing? It’s legal, it’s free, and it’s fun.'
Fun. That’s the reminder she still needs sometimes. Whenever she feels insecure about the whole process, every situation or new idea she encounters comes down to that one question: is it fun? Could it be fun?
If the answer’s no, she doesn’t bother.
If the answer is yes, it’s like a door in her mind opens and she can enter a completely new and different world. A world she isn’t equipped to settle in, but it’s definitely worth having a look around. Riley’s right: it doesn’t hurt to look, or to think, or to fantasize. She holds her own reigns: she chooses who to involve, at what pace she moves, and if she moves at all. For now, it’s just her little secret. And Riley’s, kind of.
While a few months ago she would’ve suffocated from laughter if someone had told her that Riley would eventually be the one, theonlyone she would confide in at some point—after spending so much time talking to her now, it’s impossible to deny how kind and supportive she has been. If someone were to torture it out of her, she’d eventually even admit to calling her a friend.
Even though they’d never really focused on Riley’s feelings in this process, Charlotte knows how much of a struggle it must have been for her to put her own feelings aside to be the best guide, mentor, teacher, friend—whatever she’d want to call it—a beginner lesbian could ever have.
Unfortunately, it is exactly that deep respect she has for Riley that makes her so nervous and insecure around her. Because yes: Riley had always flirted with her, and she knows Riley had been into her, at least at some point. But what happened when she stepped up to be there for Charlotte?
