“What happened to her? I don’t remember seeing her after those first few times.”
“I’m not positive. I know she died a few years later when we were in fourth grade. Mom never told me what happened, though. I kind of sensed it was a sore subject, so I never asked.” Just saying that, I feel more guilty. “She was good to me. I should’ve asked, but Mom was still a mess after she left. Your mom stepping into the picture helped her more than anything.”
“I remember.”
“I never said anything to her about it. I was always afraid of sending her back into that dark place.”
“You said you told an ex-boyfriend about all this?” I can hear the hurt in his words, and it kills me that I did that to him.
“Josh.”
“I remember you breaking up with him after maybe six months, right?”
“Mhmm.”
“I can’t say it upset me.” I give him a half-smile at his honesty.
“I wanted to tellyou, but I was convinced whoever I told would blame me, like I did. I couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking that about me.” I lie back on the bed, hiding beneath my arm. Bodie knows exactly what I need, because he lays his body over mine, holding himself up on his elbows to give me just enough room to not crush my lungs.
“I wish you would’ve,” he says into my chest.
“I was going to, until I decided to tell Josh to see his reaction. It wasn’t what I thought it would be at first. He understood and comforted me. A week later, I was getting ready to tell you, but then I caught Josh with Spencer. We argued back and forth until he threw it in my face—what happened with the accident.” My throat is scratchy as I force out the words. “He said he could never love someone who killed their father.”
“You know he was just deflecting to make it your fault and not his, right?”
“After a few years, sure. At the time, my mind went straight to survivor’s guilt, blaming myself like the seven-year-old in that car did—right to the version of me that watched my mother grieve in her depression for years before she found her way out. For the longest time, I believed he was right.”
“You didn’t kill your father, and Josh is a piece of shit for betraying your trust.”
“I’ve finally come to terms with both of those things, but it doesn’t ease the pain of having seen my mother go through that. They really loved each other, and she never remarried, obviously. I don’t even think she dates.”
“Maybe you should finally talk to her about all of this. Get it off both of your chests.”
I try to remember any time my mother has ever gone out with a man since my father passed away. She’s never even introduced me to any male friends in all these years.
“Yeah, maybe.” I roll us over and wrap my arms around him. “We should probably get out of bed soon. I have to get to work.”
“I missed you.” The vulnerability in Bodie’s whispered confession has me wanting to call out of work and spend the rest of the day in bed with him.
“I missed you, too. Let’s not fight anymore, please,” I say with my lips against his.
“I think that’s a great idea.” Bodie sighs as I firmly press my lips to his before turning to send a text to Kasey, who owes me one.
“What are you doing?” Bodie asks when I pull the covers back over us and snuggle under them with him.
“We’re going to stay in bed for a few more hours. Then we’ll make dinner and veg out with a bunch of blankets in the living room while we watch a movie with lots of snacks until it’s bedtime again.”
“I like the sound of that.” The way Bodie purrs as his hands go for my waistband gives me pause before I push his fingers away.
“Later. Sleep. Now.”
“You’re such a cockblocker.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Bodie
