Two Hours Earlier
Bodie
“Amber,will you please talk to me ?” I still don’t understand why she’s so mad. I wanted to hang out with my best friend while he was working—what’s so wrong with that? “Can we just chill and watch some TV?” I don’t even wait for an answer before turning on the first game I can find.
“Seriously?”
I look up to find her in her usual stance when she’s mad at me. I’m surprised the sides of her skirt haven’t worn through by now. “What did I do now?”
“I told you how upset I was that you wouldn’t play pool with me, and you made an excuse about wanting to hang out with Bryce. You tell me how much you love me and want to spend time with me, but as soon as we get home, you turn on a game.” When she starts talking with her hands, I know I’m in deep trouble. “It’s after midnight. Can’t we just go to bed?”
“Fine. I didn’t think it was such a big deal.” I give in and pick up the remote.
“Fine? Not a big deal?”
Shit. Judging by her deep-red cheeks, I chose the wrong words.
“Nothing is a big deal to you. Everything is ‘not a problem’ or ‘it’ll be okay’ no matter what the situation.”
“I’m sorry. You know I don’t get stressed out easily. Only when it comes to my career.”
“And anything to do with Bryce.”
“What do you mean?”
“Last month you were so distraught when Bryce cut his hand while making dinner for you guys, that you talked about it for a week. Called him more than usual—which is a lot already—just to check in on him.”
“So? I don’t understand why checking on my friend who hurt himself is a reason to be this upset.”
“Bodie, do you really not see that you’re in love with him?”
“What?!” I stand, throwing my hands up in disbelief. “Now you’re just trying to make up a reason to fight with me.”
“You really don’t.” The sadness in her voice makes me realize she truly believes it
“Amber, I love Bryce as a friend. Maybe like a brother. That’s it.”
“Wow.” I go to swipe the tears from her eyes, but she beats me to it as she backs away and heads for the door. I follow, unsure what else to do. “Bodie, you really need to sit down and think about all the times you chose Bryce over me, for even the simplest things. All the times you spent talking about him or with him on the phone while you were with me. Choosing him to be your plus one at almost every team event. How you chose to get an apartment with him instead of me.” The ache in her tone breaks my heart.
Flashes of conversations and moments from the past decade run through my head—images of her disappointment pop up too often. I fidget with embarrassment before recalling more instances I’ve let her down.
“Yeah, you see it now. Don’t you?” She smiles as her eyes glisten with sorrow. “I’m done playing runner-up, Bodie. I’m tired of you being more in love with him than you are with me.” Her lips are soft against my heated cheek. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Her whisper is the last thing I hear. I’m frozen in place with memories and her words flooding my brain—so stuck that when I come back to the present, I realize she’s gone.
Have you ever had that dream where you’re falling from a building, but you never land, just endlessly falling until you wake up? That’s basically how I’ve felt until I see Bryce kneeling in front of me. The only difference is that on the way down, I’ve been seeing every memory of my friendship with Bryce replaying on a loop. I’ve been searching for that moment when I supposedly fell in love with him. I still don’t fully believe what Amber is assuming, but I can’t fully discount it—she couldn’t have pulled it out of thin air.
“What the fuck kind of excuse is that? Has she lost her mind?”
I don’t even remember telling him what Amber said as I slowly crawl upright on the couch, my hands feeling heavy as I wipe the daze—and tears—from my face. When I open my eyes, Bryce is still on his knees with questioning brows, and for the first time in eighteen years I notice his eyes aren’t as pale green as they typically seem. They’re more like a bright emerald—almost likeThe Wizard of Oz’sEmerald City.
“Bodie, snap out of it. You’re scaring me, man.” The sound of Bryce snapping his fingers breaks me out of my stupor.
“I’m okay. I’m okay.”
“What do you mean she said you’re in love with me?”
“Apparently, because I chose to live with you and not her, and well, choosing you over her all the time, she thinks I love you.” My eyes wander everywhere but to his. “Like more than friends.”
