Although not in the same bed, falling asleep next to Ender felt intimate on a different level. Exhausted from the day, the pace of his breathing eventually slowed down and finally he looked at peace.
I know he's started to dream when he lets out a soft whimper. I watch, wondering what he's dreaming about. I hope whatever it is, it's a good dream—maybe he's even dreaming of me. What if he says my name?
All my hopes go out the window when I hear him softly cry out, “Leave her alone” shortly followed by, “Mom.” I freeze, holding my breath, waiting to hear anything else. He uttered no other words the rest of the night. I know because I haven’t slept a wink since, even after his phone died just before sunrise.
I couldn’t get to work fast enough, looking for Luke to ask him questions I shouldn’t be asking. When I don’t find him anywhere in the restaurant, it dawns on me I told him to take the day off today to spend time with Kaden after last night’s fiasco.
In a way, I’m relieved Luke isn’t here—at least now I don’t have to be snooping into Ender’s private life behind his back. I have this sinking feeling that Ender leaving my house that night has something to do with his past, probably his parents. Did something happen to them? It would make sense since I found literally no mention of any family of Ender’s during my…research.
I’m finishing up payroll and scheduling for the coming weeks when a text comes in from the only person on my mind for weeks now, instantly putting a smile on my face.
Thank you for last night.
I resist the urge to call him without permission, but after last night, the need to see him is even stronger. Before responding, I checked in with our managers to make sure they can handle things—I’m taking the day off to spend with Ender.
Do you have plans today?
The wait is excruciating, not knowing if he’s even seen the message yet. I don’t care what we do, I just need to see him.
What do you have in mind?
I guess I’m winging this.
Rage room?
Sure, but should I be worried? You’re not trying to lure me there just to hit me over the head with a crowbar, are you?
*thinking face emoji*
I wasn’t planning on it, but now that you mention it…maybe? *shushing face emoji*
JK! Seriously, just get ready. Send me your address. See you in an hour.
Before he can tell me no, I send him a GIF of Sophia from The Golden Girls with the caption ‘Let’s Roll,’ which earns me a laughing emoji.
We were lucky they still had an opening for today—the earliest one is in a couple of hours. I’m a little flustered when I pull up to Ender’s building, unsure if I should try to meet him at his door or just text him—I haven’t dated in a very long time. Fortunately for me, I see Ender waiting outside.
“Fair warning, I have mace on me. Just in case you get any smart ideas,” he says with a playful smirk, leaning down into the car before taking his seat.
“Kinky,” I reply, adding a wink with my grin. A light shade of pink spreads from his neck straight up, meeting his ears and flushing his naturally pale skin. It makes my mouth water just remembering the taste of him on my tongue.
Once we hit the road, Ender takes over as DJ. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like how he makes himself at home in my car, connecting his phone to my car’s Bluetooth.
The first song on his playlist throws me back to my early teens—MakeDamnSureby Taking Back Sunday always hit the spot. I still know the lyrics by heart, even though I haven’t heard this song in ages, and we end up performing our own private concert as we sing along together.
In the brief moments I get to look away from the road in front of us, I find the brilliant smile I first saw in the photos from the concert in Atlanta. Witnessing this genuine happiness radiating from him. He’s radiating real, genuine happiness while he sings, and I realize music might just be the key to his heart.
It’s mesmerizing.
At the next red light, he lowers the volume. “You’re acting like a total creeper, staring at me like that.” He shakes his head in amusement, blessing me with that one-sided smile of his. Like the north pole of a magnet seeking its south, his eyes reconnect with mine.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was staring,” I reply, but I don’t break our shared gaze. I wonder if the tenderness in his expression matches my own.
We stay locked on each other in our own little world, until the blaring horn of the car behind us finally registers, and I realize the light probably turned green a while ago.
The rest of the drive passes in silence, and all the while, I think about Ender, reflecting on every side of him he’s shown me since we met. I love the way he teased me, and told me what he wanted, but ultimately took control of the bedroom. And thenthere's the side that walked out on me. That haunted, hurting side of him that I wish I could hold. That I wish I could heal.
I reach out, lacing my fingers through his and resting them on his leg. I notice the way his gaze flicks down to our clasped hands and stays there, like he’s afraid if he takes his eyes off them, they might disappear.
