“No, that's how you avoid it. That list isn't for the baby or me, it’s for you.”
The words hit a nerve, and my dragon didn't defend me. He allowed the truth to settle over me. Damn, was this how it would be from now on? My beast was taking my mate’s side.
“You want a reaction? Fine.” My voice had risen a few decibels, but I needed to get this out. “I’m terrified. I've spent my entire adult life being the person who holds it together, whether it’s at the station or in every room I walk into.”
Shit, I was doing this wrong. I had to lower my voice. “And now the one person who makes me feel like I don't have to hold it together is pregnant. But my first instinct is to hold it together because that's all I know how to do.”
Percy glanced away before gazing at me again.
“And you do the same thing.” I slammed my hand on the kitchen island. “You joke. Every time something gets real, you crack wise and redirect. You arrived terrified, and the moment you told me the news, you made a stir-fry joke.”
“It was funny.”
“It was deflection. You're as scared of being vulnerable as I am of losing control, and the only difference is your defense mechanism is charming and mine makes spreadsheets.”
We stared at each other across the island, and both of us were breathing hard. There was silence, which I was usuallycomfortable with and Percy wasn’t, but he was the first to break it.
“The stir-fry joke was pretty good, though.”
I closed my eyes. He was still doing it, but his joke had cracked the tension and split it in two.
“Come here.” I beckoned him.
He narrowed his eyes. “No, you come here. I'm pregnant.”
My dragon nudged me, but he didn’t have to because I wanted his tension to be gone, the argument over, and me to be hugging my mate.I walked around the island. Percy wasn’t falling into my arms, not that I expected him to because we hadn’t solved anything. We were both scared and hopeful, but we wanted this to work out between us. I did, and he’d demonstrated that he wanted the same.
“I’m terrified.” My voice was just above a whisper.“But I’m also so happy I can’t put it into words. Both of those things are true, and I don't have a category for that in my notes app.”
“Damn it, Larkin.” He sniffed. “You can't say something like that and expect me not to cry. I howled over a dog eating kibble this week. My weeping threshold is low.”
I pulled him close, and he didn’t resist. He rested his forehead on my shoulder.
“I’m scared too,” he mumbled, and his tears soaked through my shirt.
You made our mate cry.My beast wasn’t impressed.
“What if I'm not good at it and I mess our kind up? Up until now, my biggest responsibility has been remembering to change the oil in my truck, and I'm three thousand miles overdue.”
I kissed the top of his head and bit my tongue. This wasn’t the moment to freak at him not attending to his truck. “We'll get your oil changed.”
“That's not the point.”
“I’m aware.” I had to choose my words carefully and not blurt out that we would make mistakes. We weren’t human, but in regards to parenting, we were on equal footing with humans.“Neither of us knows what we're doing, and that's okay. We'll work it out together, with you making jokes and me creating lists until we figure out what works.”
Percy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “That was dangerously close to a speech.”
“Did you like it?” I patted his butt.
“Not bad.” He ground his hips against me.
Hmmm, could I take my newly pregnant mate to bed? Nah, after that emotional roller coaster it was probably best we keep our clothes on and talk more.
I pulled us onto the couch and put an arm around him.
"We should try to make it to the final and tell them afterward. That way both stations will have had the competition they've been working toward.”
“But you can’t compete. Your captain will want to know why.”
