Jem wiped his eyes on the shoulder of his T-shirt and fumbled out of the booth.
Of course, every other patron had stood too. Half of them were wandering toward the stage.
Wait. The word stuck in his throat. He could barely squeak out “excuse mes” as he tried to work his way through the crowd.
There were too many people. He’d never make it before River and Lara left.
Then suddenly he pushed through. River stood only a few feet away, dark eyes caught on Jem’s.
Jem wet his lips. Between them, time stretched out.
“I’m sorry.”
River flinched just enough that Jem knew he’d heard.
Before he could lose his nerve, Jem went on. “Can we talk—”
“Sir, this area is for employees only.”
Startled, Jem realized he’d followed River behind the coffee bar toward what had to be the staff room. He shook his head and made himself focus on the woman in front of him. “Sorry,” he said again. “I just really need to talk to—”
Behind her, a door opened and closed again. When Jem looked back, River was gone.
He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. Opened them again and forced his voice to stay even.
The woman in front of him in the Steamy Bean apron wore a name tag that said Bella. She had dark eyes in a broad, kind face, and steel in her spine that let Jem know she wouldn’t make an exception. “Bella. I’m sorry, I know you can’t let me back here. Could you let River know Jem wants to apologize? I’ll just….” He gestured back at the café. “Be here. If he wants to talk.”
He would wait all night if that was what it took.
“The crowd’sgone.”
All things considered, Lara probably deserved sainthood—or at least induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame—for putting up with River’s caffeine-and-Jem-fueled spiral for the past forty-five minutes.
River pulled his hands out of his hair. “You said that five minutes ago.”
“Yeah, well, they’re still gone. This place is about as empty as it’s going to get before closing time.” Lara leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Are you going to go out there and face your demons or what?”
I’m starting to suspect that my demons might actually be in here.
It didn’t help that River hadn’t slept well for the past few days. His dreams were restless, full of vague images that never quite resolved. He knew he was chasing something—chasing Jem—but he never got close enough to stop him from slipping away.
He still didn’t know if they could fix things between them.
But God, for once in his life, he wanted to.
River had only seen him for a few seconds, but Jem looked too pale for California, and his eyes were shadowed like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in longer than River, maybe. His thoughts from the night before flooded back. Even from across the room, he could see the watch on Jem’s wrist. Had Jem loved him after all? Did he still? How had the band’s secret, and River’s, gotten out if not through him?
The only way to know for sure was to go out there and talk to him.
“Okay,” he said finally. “Okay. I’m going.”
He still didn’t know what to say. Jem had started withI’m sorry, though, so maybe River could just let him take it from there?
He squared his shoulders and walked back into the café.
A handful of the crowd from the show remained, but they seemed content to let him do his own thing. Lara was right, though; the Bean was at maybe a third capacity. Finding Jem should be a snap.
But as River scanned the room, he didn’t see him.
