“Jake, I didn’t actually mention Brad at all. I just said we needed a condom. I mentioned Lizzie, not Brad.”
He hesitates for a moment, the truth suddenly dawning on him. “You…I’m sorry, you’re right. I just associate them together, and I guess my caveman brain took over. Can I make it up to you in the form of a bubble bath? Soothe away your aches?” He rubs my scalp gently to alleviate the sting.
I watch his face for a moment, my heart telling me he deserves the benefit of the doubt. He looks like a kicked puppy. “Yes, I'd love a bubble bath, Jake.”
31
ARE MIDDLE-AGED MEN TRAINABLE IN BED?
SHARI
25th January2026
“Spill!”is the first word I'm accosted with as soon as I walk into Better Latte Than Never.
“Geez, let a girl take her coat off first. Maybe grab a coffee. Definitely have a seat,” I eye Jaime pointedly.
“Fine, hurry up and take your coat off and sit. I have your coffee right here,” she pushes a mug towards me.
Shaking my head with a chuckle, I do as I'm told and take a seat opposite her, next to Max. I take a sip of the foamy nectar and really look at Jaime. It’s been a couple of weeks since she discovered Isaiah and Abby going at it. She seems fine on face value, but I know she’s still hurting. “How are you, J? Really?”
She looks down at her coffee, “I’m…struggling a bit, but I’ve started going back to counselling so,” she shrugs, “I’ll get there. I don’t really want to talk about it, though, today is about your sex life!”
I look around with my head ducked because she more or less shouted that last part. Thankfully, there are only a couple of other people in here, and neither of them seems to have heard her outburst. Jaime does start cackling at my reaction, though, and I’m just happy to see her laughing.
I’m about to pretend to reprimand her when I hear, “Don't you dare start without me!” I look up to see Elle dashing towards us from behind the counter.
As soon as everyone's seated and staring at me, I feel a peculiar warmth wash over my face. I generally don't get embarrassed, so I'm not sure why my skin is attempting a blush. When I'm silent for too long, Max pokes my side, “Dude, talk already! We're dying here! Did you sleep with him? How was it?”
“Is he as groomed down there as he is up top?” Jaime snickers.
I bark a laugh. “Yes, I slept with him, yes, he is groomed everywhere, and it was...um...ok?”
“Oh noooo. But he's so hot, it feels like a crime for him to be bad at sex!” Elle laments.
“It's probablywhyhe's bad at sex, though,” Max ponders, “like he's always been able to coast on his looks, so it's not like he has to work at getting laid, right?”
“It's not that he's bad in bed, per se. I just think we like different things?” Why everything is a question, I don't know.
“Like, what?”
“Well, he seemed quite into the whole rough and tumble and that's just not my thing. He seemed to mistake my pain for pleasure and when I asked him to be more gentle, he was thentoogentle. Like, no pressure on the areas that I needed it. It was almost…” I trail off, trying to find the right words.
“Almost?” Max prompts.
“I don't know how to describe it. But when he went down on me, it was very...slobbery? That sounds gross, but it was like hewas trying to make out with my entire groin and kept missing the focus. So when I told him I needed more than that, he was then too rough. As if he didn't have a middle ground.”
“Yeah, that would be a no from me,” Jaime cringes.
“Don't get me wrong, I almost got there a few times, but as soon as I was close, he'd change to something I didn't like and I'd lose the orgasm all over again! Ugh,” I drop my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Is it fixable? Are middle-aged men trainable in bed?”
“Did you only have sex once? Maybe it was first time jitters or that you guys just need to learn each other's bodies and likes?” Elle hedges, always trying to find the positive.
“No, he woke me up in the middle of the night to have another go. It was better, but it's like he still wasn't listening to me. How do I get him to really listen without insulting him?”
“Fucking fragile male egos,” Jaime grumbles into her coffee.
“In his defence, he did apologise for hurting me after the first time and ran me a bubble bath to soothe the ache. He's a good guy but just likes his sex on the rough and maybe slightly sadistic side.” My face scrunches at the memory.
