I’m almost expecting her to slap her thighs and say, “Well, thanks for the tea!” and leave. But no such luck. She stares at me as if waiting for me to profess my undying gratitude at such an extravagant atonement, but really I’m struggling to stop my eyes from rolling, so I end up just staring back at her.
Phil clears his throat. “Grace, dear, I believe there was more you wanted to say, was there not?”
Her eyes flick between mine before she takes in a heaving breath and blows it all out in a rush. Her entire frame deflates with it, and she dips her head to rub her temples. Still, I don’t speak.
When Grace finally looks back up at me, I can finally see genuine remorse in her expression, and it surprises me as much as it appeases my bruised soul.
“I’m sorry, I know that wasn’t the apology you deserve. It’s just, I’ve really struggled with coming to terms with everything. It’s been a lot to take in all at once, you know?” She fiddles with the strap of her handbag on her lap. “Brad bringing home a girl for the first time was an exciting prospect for me, only it turns out she’s not a girl, but a woman closer to my age than his. Then dropping the bomb that we’re going to be grandparents. And this woman twice his age is the mother? You have to understand where I was coming from.”
I ruminate over her explanation for a moment before I reply, “Of course I understand, Grace. Everything you’ve just said is exactly the reaction I was expecting you to have. But what I wasn’t expecting was the complete belittling of my character, theinsinuation that I’ve forced Brad to be with me out of obligation, and mostly, the accusation that I,” I swallow hard, because even thinking it makes feel sick, “groomedhim, somehow? I was braced for a negative response, not a total pummelling.”
She cringes with every word out of my mouth, because she knows I’m not being melodramatic. It’s exactly what happened, and the backs of my eyelids still sting when I remember every hateful word she uttered. It just further solidified the fact that no one is going to accept our age gap.
Brad’s graduation ceremony is next week, and the last thing I want is to have to sit with his parents for hours and meet all his young and bubbly uni friends. But he wants me there, and has been nothing short of supportive, so I can support him in return.
When Grace’s hands grab mine from where they’re resting on my lap, I snap out of my reverie and look at her face. She’s moved to perch on the edge of the sofa next to me, and her eyebrows are pulled together tightly. “You’re absolutely right. I was beyond horrible to you, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I am truly sorry for the things I said, and I hope that in time we can be friends,” at whatever she gleans from my expression, she suddenly tacks on, “For the baby’s sake, if nothing else.”
“Right. For the baby’s sake, I accept your apology, Grace. Let’s call this a clean slate and start afresh, shall we?” I hold out my hand for her to shake.
She stands and uses my outstretched hand to pull me to my feet so she can hug me. It’s undeniably a bit awkward, but I’m relieved that she offered this apology, whether or not she was forced into it.
Phil gets up to stand beside us with a happy smile on his face, and icing sugar dusting his chin. As soon as Grace lets go of me, he pulls me in for a one-armed side hug, which tugs a real smile from my lips.
“Right! Well, I’m glad that’s resolved. It would be awful to lose the newest addition to our family when I’ve just found out what an amazing baker she is,” he chuckles.
Addition to the family? That’s a bit of a jump, but I’ve noticed that Phil seems to say and do things for comedic effect to lighten the mood. I have to assume this is one of those times.
Before I can respond in any way, my phone starts to ring. Of course it’s Brad checking in on me.
“Hi, we’re all still alive,” I joke.
He chuckles. “Are you sure? You don’t need me to phone for the police or an ambulance? Maybe a funeral director?”
“No,” I smile as I look up at his parents. “I think we’ll make it through in one piece.”
13
IS SHE A SURROGATE?
SHARI
24th August2023
“Jasuan Patel. Francesca Quaid. Brad Quinlan.”
Our row erupts into cheers as Brad crosses the stage to accept his degree with a beaming smile plastered on his handsome face, his black robe swishing with every step.
We may have had a rocky start to this...whatever we are. We still haven't had a conversation about us and I haven't been able to muster the willpower to end things completely. But I'm so damn proud of him. These last few weeks have shown me just how dedicated he is to the things he deems important – this baby, work, his degree...me? When he invited me to his graduation ceremony, I can't say I was exactly eager. To meet so many of his friends in one go, so many peers his own age, well, the thought filled me with horror.
The ceremony itself comes to a close, and as we’re ushered out of the hall, that feeling of foreboding increases. Grace touches my forearm gently, her ruby ring catching in thesunlight. The refracted light makes it look like I have blood spatter on my arm – an omen, perhaps. I turn to look at her and the concern I find in her furrowed brow has me confused for a moment. “Are you ok, dear? You've gone a bit pale.” Guess I'm not hiding my apprehension very well.
“Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit nervous, if I'm honest.”
“Nervous? What are you nervous about?”
This is our first encounter since she came over to apologise. As much as her words hurt me when we first met, I can understand that only being fifteen years my senior made it a real shock to meet her son's ‘cradle snatcher’ for the first time. That lunch was the most awkward and disparaging experience of my life, and her words will be hard for me to forget, but we need to get along for the sake of the baby. Phil was a lot more open-minded, although trying to high five his son during a tense moment was awkward in a different way.
So, although I'm sure Grace would much rather I weren't in Brad's life at all, she's accepted that I'm not trying to hurt or corrupt or steal away her boy. And that I'm part of the grandchild package, so she's trying at least.
