“Yes?” Why my responses sound like questions, I don't know. Brad squeezes my hand. He's off-screen so they don't even know he's in the room, but the gesture helps to ease my nerves.
“Congratulations, sayang! Who's the father? Are you back with Kristian?”
“Um, no. Not Kristian.”
“Who do I need to kill?”
“You don't need to kill anyone, Papa,” I huff with a roll of my eyes. “It's someone...new. His name is Brad, and he's here, actually.”
“Well, put him on! Hi Braaad!” Sometimes, I think my mum might be even less mature than I.
I mouthsorryto him as I pan the camera to show his face. “This is Brad. Brad, these are my parents, Fern and Eric.”
“Waaahh, so handsome!”
“Oh god, yes, Ma, he's very handsome. And has working ears.”
Brad just beams that megawatt smile at my mother, and she will absolutely be on Team Brad now. My father is a harder sell as he glares at Brad through the screen.
“Hi Fern, Eric. It's good to meet you both. Hopefully, we'll be able to meet in person soon.”
“Yes! Of course, we can come and stay for a couple of months around the birth! So, will you be getting married before the baby arrives?”
“You'd bloody better be planning on marrying my daughter,boy.”
I. Choke. On. Air.
And Brad? He just breaks out into booming laughter. How is he not shitting himself at my dad's tone?
Slinging an arm around my neck to pull me into the frame, he kisses my temple and so easily says, “We'll have to see on thatone. At the moment, I'm struggling to convince your daughter to even date me.”
“Brad!” I whisper shout. I'm never going to hear the end of it now.
“Shari! You won't date him? Why? Sayang, you're having his baby. He's young and handsome. Better snag him while he's still interested! You're getting old and don't forget the baby will make you fatter.”
“Mum, I don't think this is the time–”
“Maybe he's an idiot. Are you an idiot? There must be a reason my darling daughter doesn't want you.”
“Papa! No, he's not an id–”
“You look like you've already started putting on weight, sayang, how far along are you?”
Before I can respond, Brad butts in. “I’m sorry, Fern. I know we've only just met, but I hope you know that your daughter is incredible. She’s beautiful, inside and out, so there's no danger of me ever not being interested, even after she's had our baby.”
“I know she's beautiful,” my mum says quietly. Probably shocked to be so politely chastised.
“Hmmm. Not an idiot then.” My dad's expression has morphed from suspicion to appraisal.
Hormones leak from my eyes in the shape of tears. In one video call, this man has now stood up for me more times than my ex ever did. That's not to say Kristian was a bad person or agreed with any of the hurtful things my mother has innocently come out with over the years, he just didn't want to get in the middle of it.
“Ok, Nana- and Grandpa-to-be, we have to go,” I manage to choke out, “but I'll send you a screenshot of the sonogram and I'll call you next week.”
“Ok, sayang. I think I'd prefer to be called Glamma, though.”
“I’m fine with being called Grandpa. You make sure to take care of my baby, Brad, or you'll be meeting me much sooner, under more sinister circumstances. Bye, darling, love you.”
“Oh god, no need for threats, Papa. Love you both.”
