“I…” Needed to head to the pub and drink beer after beer until Vance refused to sell me another. Needed to drive and drive, to wherever Mackenzie was, but if she left last night…
Without even saying goodbye.
Was it all in my head? Part of me rebelled at that idea. Didn’t she feel it as well? A connection snapping into place. The reason why I could countenance selling the farm was because when I was with Mackenzie, I felt home. If I was with her?—
“She said she’d send you a voice note,” Charlie said finally, and that was what I needed to hear to get me moving. Striding down the hallway, I found my phone and while my hand shook, I unlocked it to find Mackenzie had left me a message.
“…this was supposed to be just a fling.” The hoarse sound of my girl’s voice, I hated it and loved it in turns. “Just a holiday romance to help me get over my ex, but… It turned into something else, at least for me.”
“Me too,” I muttered. “Me too, love.”
“My ex, he was always around, but you… I chose you, Troy.” My fingers raked down my thigh. “And I’m so glad I did. The months I spent with you; they were some of the happiest days of my life.” Teeth grinding together, I forced myself to keep listening. “Because when you’re not stomping about being a pain in everyone’s ass, you… You make me feel safe, protected, and you have no idea how good that feels.”
My thumb moved of its own accord, stopping the voice note as I pressed the phone to my forehead. When I was an idiot kid, I touched an electric fence once and that’s what this feltlike. Raw emotion pulsed through me, forcing every muscle to spasm, including my heart.
It was the far-off sound of cattle that got me moving. Unless we were selling the farm today, I needed to get out there. Keeping stock in containment yards meant there was no food for them other than what you provided and that was the job for the morning. One breath, then another, I let the agony I was feeling throb in my chest, then got to my feet and pulled on my work clothes.
“I’m going down to the containment yards to feed the cattle,” I told Charlie when I walked back out into the living room.
“No, you’re not.”
The way she looked at me, hands on her hips, made clear she wasn’t going to entertain any arguments.
“Well, someone has to, unless we want to starve a whole lot of cows to death.”
“The boys are already on it,” she replied. “That’s why I made sure you got a sleep in.”
“So I’ll meet the feed truck when it arrives,” I said.
“Not doing that either. I rang Bill.” He was our feed supplier. “He’s bringing his own guys down to shift the hay off the trucks as an apology for sending us shit hay. You…” A piece of paper and my passport hit the table. “Are going to pack. You’ll be on a plane to Los Angeles tonight.”
“What?” I was going to spend the whole day befuddled, it appeared. “I can’t fly to the US.”
“Can’t stay here,” she said. “Not when your heart is over there.”
Picking up the paper, I read the details, but didn’t really process them.
“A visa?” I said, ready to make clear how impossible her suggestion was.
“Filled out an application when you first got together with Mackenzie,” she said, then smiled. “I told you, Troy. You don’t do casual. That girl, you love her.” Hearing someone else say the words was like a slap to the face. “You love her and right now, she needs to be in the States, looking after her mum. And you need to be there, looking after her.”
If Charlie had grabbed a carving fork and stabbed it right into my chest, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as hearing those words. I’d slapped a band aid over my aching heart, and she went and tore it off.
Then offered me everything I could’ve possibly wanted.
“I… You…”
“Thank you, Charlie,” she said with a sniff. “That’s what you’re supposed to say.”
I didn’t, not in words. Instead I rushed over, wrapping my arms around my sister. Her arms went up in surprise. Probably because the last time I hugged her was the day of Mum’s funeral. Slowly, she squeezed me back and for just a moment, I closed my eyes.
“Gotta pack,” I said, pulling away. “Gotta get to the airport.”
“Go get your girl,” she said with a nod, and that was all the permission I needed.
Hours later, I was handing a customs agent my passport, filing through into the international lounge. Briefly considering getting a beer, instead I found a seat away from everyone else and played the rest of the voice note.
“Don’t think it didn’t mean anything to me. That you were just a fling. That’s what you were supposed to be, Troy, but… You got under my skin somehow. Not a rebound romance, because being with you, I realised something. I never loved Alex. But you…?”Say it, love, I thought furiously.Say it, so I know I’m not doing something really fucking stupid.“You have mefeeling things I have no right to and I wish we could’ve had more time.”
