His words knock the air from me.
“I wanna show up for you and I don’t want anything in return. Unless there’s a loyalty reward system. Can I collectstamps somewhere?” He grins. “Is there an offer like‘Help Tally ten times and get a free blowjob?’”
I snort-giggle. “You’re the worst.”
“But you laughed.” He swipes a tear from my cheek.
“Only you manage to make me laugh when I want to cry. When it feels like the world is on fire, you’re the only thing that doesn’t burn.”
“Well…” Awkwardly, he clasps a hand on the back of his neck. “Except that time I set the magazine on fire… and the pillow… and myself. You were the one who saved me then, remember?”
I twirl a curl around my finger. “I guess…”
“And you did so much more. Before you drove a corpse into my front yard, I was barely alive. I was a ghost, haunting my own house.”
An effusion of warmth expands in my chest. “I had no idea you felt this way.”
“You reminded me that it’s okay to want things. I was fading slowly, but you lit me up brighter than all the stars in the sky. You made me remember that life ain’t about survivin’. You made me want to thrive. To dream. So it ain’t just me saving you. We save each other.”
I press a hand to my lips, trying to hold back the confession smashing against the inside of my gritted teeth. Only this time, I know I’m fighting a losing battle.
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” I spit out like the words are hot coals on my tongue.
His eyes widen. “Can you repeat that? Not sure I heard you right.”
I take a deep breath. Okay, I did this once. I can do it twice.
“Rustin McAllister, I’m falling in love with you.Again.”
He takes my hands into his. “But I can’t fall in lovewith you…”
My heart seizes.
“Because that would require me to stop lovin’ you first,” he adds. “When we met, I loved you from sunrise to sundown and through each night. When I lost you, I loved you through every lonely second of this unending heartbreak. And I still love you now, more than ever before.”
“You love me,” I whisper.
“And you love me, too,” he responds.
I fly into his arms. He crushes me against his chest and I feel his heart hammering. I can barely breathe, barely think, but I don’t want to let go.
We sit in silence, wrapped in the uncertainty of our mutual confessions and this feverish embrace.
My tears keep falling. I’m afraid. More afraid than I’ve ever been, even more afraid than before my first gig in a sold-out stadium or when I killed the drifter.
But somehow, I feel lighter, too.
I don’t know what happens next. Our relationship might crash and burn like the first time. This path might well be a minefield and we’re walking into it holding hands like blind fools.
But when he pulls back, Rust’s eyes are steady and his smile is tender. And I think maybe it’s enough that we’re choosing each other. Maybe there’s a perfect future out there, filled with happiness and light and we just have to grasp it.
“Let me help, Trouble,” Rust says. “We’re partners in crime. I won’t let this asshole get away with blackmailing my wife.”
My heart swells at the word wife.
“I take it you got a plan, Big Guy? And please don’t let it involve sunglasses, squirrels, or posing dead bodies as relatives this time.”
He smirks. “No. This time, I need your spare wig.”
