“Ace,” Eden shouts at the top of her voice.
I chuckle. "I could have done that."
"But you didn't," she states.
“Yes,” Ace says as he walks into the room.
“Come and sit. I’ve got something I have to tell you.” I wait for Ace to climb onto the bed before I look at them both with a heavy heart. “Gemma is no longer working here.”
“Why? What did I do wrong?” Eden cries, her eyes welling up. "I didn't mean to sneak that last cookie after she said no more. I'll help Grandma make more."
“No, sweetheart. You didn't do anything. Neither of you did anything. But starting today, I’ll be taking you to school each day and collecting you afterwards. Gemma said to make sure you knew it wasn’t your fault, and she loves you very much. She still wants to see you both. But we..." I pause because I know I shouldn't lie. "I decided it’s for the best.”
“Why?” Ace asks, grinding his teeth as he speaks.
It’s the same reaction he had the day we found out Julia left. “I want to give her the world, guys, but I can't,” I say, reaching out to stroke Ace's head, but he jerks away from me.
“So, you sent her away?” he shouts at me. His face is red.
“Yes. She deserves everything she wants,” I say with a frown. "You're too young to understand."
“What does she want that you can’t give her?” Eden asks, tears streaming down her face.
“A family, a baby.” My voice is full of regret. “I'm sorry," I speak louder this time.
“She has us,” Eden sobs.
“That's right, and she loves you very much. The thing is, Gemma would also like her own child. It's not fair to take that away from her. She's young and deserves that chance. You'll understand when you're older and you want a baby," I explain.
“Did you ask her?” Ace is so angry with me.
I shake my head. “No, because she would choose us, and I don’t want her to. I want her to have everything she wants.”
“Ask her,” they chorus.
“No, and don’t tell her, either,” I order, sitting up in bed.
“Why can’t you have a baby?” Eden asks.
“Because Mummy didn’t want any more children, so I made sure I couldn’t make any. My seeds don’t work anymore, they’re gone.” I don't know how else to explain it.
“I want to see Gemma,” Eden says, starting to cry again.
“I’ll message her. But you can only see her on the condition you promise not to tell her what I've told you today. Do you promise?” I wait for an answer.
“Promise,” Ace says first.
“Promise,” Eden replies.
I send a text to Gemma. I feel so bad asking her to see the children right after I broke her heart. She texts back that it’s okay as long as Mum brings them and not me. She doesn't want to see me, which is understandable.
I feel my own heart break, but I'm used to it. I have to do what's right for both Gemma and the children.
Once they’ve had breakfast, which is a sombre affair, my mother fetches the children. I’m left alone with my thoughts and feelings, surrounded by Gemma’s efforts at decorating for Christmas. Spotting the snow globe, I go over. I’ve not seen this in years. The happy family smiles at me, taunting me from within their snowy paradise. I grab it, throwing it in the bin, and cursing the fact I ever replaced it.
Chapter
Twenty-One
