Do I? Physically, yes. I’ve had trouble sleeping the last two nights, too stressed about Colin’s parents trying to take my kids from me. Mentally? A little, but the mom-guilt drowns everything out. “Kind of.”
Taking a leap, I wrap myself against his chest and breathe in his bergamot and sandalwood scent. The woody-citrus mixture floods my senses and calms my racing thoughts. His arms wrap around me, holding me tight, and he buries his nose in my hair. “Want to grab a shower before we leave? The event starts at five, but we were going to grab dinner first.”
My date with Manny is tonight, so I should shower and try to dress up a little, even if my current version of dressed up is amaternity bra and nipple pads. But I don’t want to let my Alpha go. It feels like his strength is the only thing keeping me on my feet.
Could I… ask him to join me? Not for sex, obviously. My body is not ready for that. Would he expect that if I asked? No, Shepherd isn’t like that. He would never push me for something I wasn’t ready to give. Look at how patient he’s been with me these past few months. I’ve slept with his Omega, and he’s shown no sign of being jealous, let alone angry that I haven’t taken that step with him.
My trauma is talking. Whispering lies into my mind.
It needs to shut up and stop trying to make me doubt these men.
“W-will you join me?” I stutter, peeking up at him through my lashes. Surprise flashes across his face before his arms tighten around my back.
“Foster, you’ve got the kids for a bit.”
Our Omega grins, wiggling his brows and blowing me a kiss as I’m led into the hall and across to the bathroom. I’m grateful when he distracts Kaitlin, stealing her attention before she can ask why we’re going in together. She’s growing more curious by the day, which has led to a lot of awkward questions.
I slip my oversized sweater over my head while Shep gets the water heating. Nervousness zips up and down my spine, and a wave of insecurity rushes over me as he strips off his long-sleeved shirt. His stomach isn’t super defined, but he’s still packed with muscle. Glancing down, I frown when I see the stretch marks and my still-rounded belly.
Fingers grip my chin, tilting my head back and forcing me to look up at him. Firm lips brush against mine with enough pressure to coax mine to part, but he doesn’t deepen it. “I can see the doubt in your eyes.” One calloused finger trails down my throat and over the swell of my breasts. “Softness isn’tsomething to be ashamed of.” He drags it down my sternum, shifting until his palm presses between our stomachs. His thumb brushes over one of my largest stretch marks. “Whether it’s baby weight or body weight, I love all of you. Every curve, every dip, every scar.”
He kisses me again, tongue delving into my mouth as he devours me. I whimper, body flushing with arousal. When he shifts his hips, letting me feel how hard he is, I shudder. He’s like that because of me. The heady feeling stuffing my head has me swaying on my feet when he steps back and hooks his fingers into his sweats and drops them to the floor.
The brief glance of his dick is enough to have my mouth snapping closed. I swallow thickly, wishing I had an Omega’s enhanced healing speed. Not that it would matter, even an Omega isn’t cleared for sex two weeks after they give birth.
Rushing to take the rest of my clothes off, I hurry into the shower with him. The warm spray rushes over my skin, stealing the chill starting to sink in. I let it soak my hair, tiny streams running over my face, and washing away my stress. My eyes pop open when I feel a soft cloth run up my legs. Shepherd kneels before me, gently scrubbing the sweat from my skin. He’s thorough, focused on not missing an inch of my skin.
When he sets the cloth aside and pours shampoo onto his hands, I’m practically vibrating in anticipation. During one of the rare trips my father would bring us on, Mother and I joined another pastor’s wife and daughter for a trip to the hair salon. Having the stylist wash my hair felt amazing. I have a feeling that my Alpha’s hands on my scalp are going to be mind-blowing.
He twirls a finger in the air, motioning for me to turn around. I do as he asked, eyes slipping closed and head tilted back so the soap doesn’t run down my face. A groan slips through my lips as he massages my skull; the repetitive motion nearly lulls me backto sleep. My lip juts into a pout when he rinses my hair, but then he switches places with me, and I realize it’s my turn to take care of him.
My tongue pokes between my lips as I rub soap over his bulging biceps and pecs, enraptured by the suds that drip down his soft stomach. He’s gorgeous. A beautiful blend of hard muscle and soft fat, with scars dotted here and there. I want to ask about them, but I’m too focused on exploring more of his skin. My knees hit the tile floor with a soft thud as I bypass his manhood and wash his legs. Only when I have no skin left to clean do I rub the cloth over his hips and down his length. It jerks beneath my touch, a soft hiss slipping through his lips, but he doesn’t move.
I look up at him, mouth watering, and a desire to truly take care of him singeing my insides. Letting the rag plop onto the floor, I trace a finger around his tip and down the side until I reach his knot. It looks weird like this. A little thicker than the rest of his length, but looser too.
“Wildfire.” He grunts my name, hand circling my wrist loosely. I meet his heated gaze and flick my tongue across my dry lips. “You don’t have to-”
“I want to.” Wincing because I cut him off, I rush to add, “If you want me to, that is. If not, that’s okay.”
He lets go of my wrist and threads his fingers into my hair, not pulling them, more like he is steadying himself. “You are always welcome to enjoy my body in any manner you wish, Beta.”
Jerking my head in a sharp nod, I focus back on his dick. My palm grips the bottom, slowly gliding to the tip. Pre-cum beads on his tip, so I catch it with my tongue. Salted cream flavors my mouth, blended with a citrusy note from the bergamot in his scent. It’s a little weird, but not unpleasant.
“Grip me tighter,” he groans, watching with heavy-lidded eyes as I work him in my fist. “Just like that.”
I wrap my lips around his tip and suck, pulling more of his odd flavor into my mouth. Working more of him between my lips, I let my tongue trace the veins along the bottom of his length. He lets me explore, not trying to control my pace or depth. Blowjobs aren’t something I have much experience with. Colin and I were only intimate when he wanted to get me pregnant.
Shoot,I don’t want to think about him right now!
Quickening the glide of my hand, I hollow my cheeks and start bobbing in time with each thrust. Shepherd’s fingers tangle in my hair, his groans echoing through the shower. The deep, sexy sound spurs me on, moving my head faster and daring me to take him farther. When I gag, he pulls me back, narrow eyes trained on my face. “I’m fine,” I promise.
“I’m close,” he warns as I take him back into my mouth. I keep the same pace, even with my jaw aching from the stretch. “Fuck, Hannah, I’m going to-”
Pushing forward, I swallow around him. He moans loudly, knees shaking, so I do it again. I feel his hand join mine at his base, kneading his now swollen knot. His dick kicks along my tongue, a roar shaking through the bathroom as he comes. I try to swallow it all, but there’s so much. Too much. It spills down my chin, mixing with the water still rushing down our bodies.
“Come here, Wildfire,” he huffs, drawing me back to my feet. I wince when I stand, knees sore from kneeling for so long. The bite of pain is worth getting to bring him to release. His hands wipe the cum and saliva from my face, rinsing it away beneath the spray of the shower, and then he kisses me. Slow, deep, and so full of emotion that it makes my legs weak. “I love you, Wildfire.”
“I love you too, Alpha.”
