“You saw him?” said Cassandra.
“Wait,” interrupted Mrs. Austen. “I don’t think I know about this. Do I know about this?”
“Well, perhaps not,” said Jane. “I told Cassandra of it, but I don’t know if you were in the room at the time. But the basic gist of it is that someone put a ladder up to Miss Seward’s window, and this man supposedly did it because he needed to fix the window, but he seemed to wish to conceal the fact he did it at all, which seems rather suspect.”
“Indeed,” said Byron. “And wait until you hear this part. So, anyway, there he is, downstairs in the kitchens, with the servants. And I say to him, ‘I know you.’”
“What were you doing in the kitchens?” said Mrs. Austen. “Do you make a habit of going down there?”
“I was looking for something to eat,” said Byron. “I had not eaten luncheon yesterday, and then I ate only vegetables for dinner, and then I was famished, so I went down to the kitchen to inquire if there was anything there I could have.”
“Eating only vegetables?” said Cassandra. “Do you do that often?”
“It’s sort of the Daniel-in-the-Lion’s-Den diet, is it not?” said Byron, grinning at her.
“Oh, just so!” Cassandra nodded. “Yes, when Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are in Babylon, they only eat vegetables!”
“It’s a good way to reduce,” said Byron. “Does make one rather hungry, however.”
“Fascinating,” said Cassandra. “How long would you do it for, usually?”
“Look,” said Jane, “can we return to the talk of the all-vegetables diet after we hear whatever it was that this man did?”
“Oh, yes, apologies,” said Byron. “Right. Where was I?”
“In the kitchens,” said Mrs. Austen.
Byron gestured at her with his butter knife. “Indeed. The kitchens. And he was there. And I say to him, ‘I know you.’ And he looks at me with this expression on his face, totally terrified, and I remind him about the ladder and the joke we were going to play and the fact he left me up there, and he is on his feet and says to me that I must have him confused with someone else. And then, he tells one of the scullery maids that she will know where to seek him when it appears.”
“When what appears?” said Cassandra.
“Well, I didn’t know. I asked. No one answered. He just walked right out. I thought to go after him, but I was hungry.” Byron shrugged.
“So, that’s it,” said Jane. “You abandoned the answers in search of food?”
“No, that is not it, because someone came downstairs with a letter from Mrs. Beaumont, and that same scullery took it and dashed off, and I warrant that friend-of-the-gardener was there to get this letter from Mrs. Beaumont. And by that time, I had been given some bread and cheese, so I went out after the man. He walked all the way back to town and I followed him, in the dark, many paces behind, so that couldn’t see that I was there. I ate all my bread and cheese in the process as well and I expendedso much effort that I was hungry again, but I didn’t dare go back to the kitchen.”
“No?” said Mrs. Austen.
“No, for they already hate me there,” said Byron. “Every servant in Beaumont’s place has completely turned against me. They all want me to simply go, and I should like to oblige them, but I cannot seem to figure out who killed Miss Seward.”
“Yes, frustrating,” said Mrs. Austen. “But did you get anything else to eat?”
“I didn’t. But I likely didn’t need it.”
“I don’t know,” said Mrs. Austen, pointing at him. “You must know that one can’t simply eat vegetables, not all the time.”
“Well, there are vegetarians,” said Cassandra. “People who eat no meat at all.”
“They likely eat cheese or eggs,” said Mrs. Austen, “not simply vegetables.”
“Oh, I should say,” said Byron, gesturing again with his butter knife, “that something like a potato or peas does not count as a vegetable.”
“It does not,’ said Cassandra, seemingly vexed by this.
“Lord!” cried Jane.
“Jane,” said Mrs. Austen. “At the breakfast table, taking the Lord’s name in vain?”
