CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Jane woke and admonished herself that she was being pathetic and that she was resolved to think no more of Byron, not today, and not ever again.
He was a changeable sort, after all, and he was absolutely devilish in every way. He had admitted to the worst sorts of behavior. He must be well on his way down the broad path of destruction.
She’d be better to put him from her thoughts.
It was odd, though, how resolving not to think of someone makes the person rise, again and again, to the surface of one’s thoughts.
She could not stop thinking about him.
The day went on like the day before, only Cassandra was sympathetic, saying that this was exactly what she had warned Jane about, that she had been worried Jane would be this way in the end, and that Jane should have never entertained anything that wretched man had said.
Jane bore Cassandra’s sympathies and her scolding as best she could.
On the third day after the tea at Mrs. Ditterswith’s, Jane had lost all sense of pride.
She went on the walk.
She walked and walked in the direction of the Beaumont house.
But she did not arrive there, for she was intercepted in the wood by Mrs. Beaumont herself.
Mrs. Beaumont was wearing a nightgown, and her hair was down, and she was traipsing about barefoot, clutching at tree trunks.
To be truthful, it was not so much that Mrs. Beaumont intercepted her, as it was that Jane intercepted Mrs. Beaumont. She went directly to the poor woman and caught her by the shoulders.
“Mrs. Beaumont, what are you doing out of bed?”
Mrs. Beaumont shook Jane off. “I have to find him.”
“Who?” said Jane.
“Do not try to stop me. Heaven knows I had the very devil of a time getting out of the house.” She pushed past Jane and continued on through the woods.
“Mrs. Beaumont, you are not dressed and you have nothing on your feet, and you’ll catch your death,” said Jane, aware she sounded like some overprotective nursemaid. It was warm enough outside that there was no chance of catching anything at all.
“I have to find him!” cried Mrs. Beaumont.
“Who?” said Jane, going after her. “Do you mean your husband, for I assume he is back at your house, and we should go there.”
Mrs. Beaumont didn’t answer, just continued making her way through the woods, moving further and further away.
Jane had a thought.Perhaps she means her son.“Do you mean the babe, Mrs. Beaumont? Are you looking for your babe?”
It was a bit of a fraught time, right at the beginning, Jane knew. She had attended enough women who’d given birth to know that they were quite exhausted in the wake of it, and theywere grateful enough of someone to take the child off to nurse, so that the new mother could get her rest. But Jane had seen many a new mother wake in a panic, crying for her babe, in some distress when she discovered the small one had been given to the nurse.
It was common for children to live with their nurses for the first years of life. It was easier for everyone. The nurse would be feeding the child at all hours, after all, and she would rest easier and see to any other duties, not least her own children, if she could have the babe with her constantly.
If you were quite wealthy, you could have a nurse live in your house, of course, but not everyone could afford such a thing. Jane herself, and all her brothers and sisters, had been just down the lane as babes. Their parents visited frequently, of course, and Jane didn’t remember any of it, for she’d been far too young.
“Mrs. Beaumont, I know not, but I think he is with Mrs. Spotts. And if so, we should be walking this way.” Jane pointed. “It’s not far, however. I could escort you, but I do wonder if you would like to go back home and get yourself properly dressed. I am certain it is no trouble at all to go and visit there whenever you like, but everyone will be embarrassed to see you this way, and you will be quite embarrassed yourself after some time has passed.”
Mrs. Beaumont kept walking, paying Jane no mind.
Jane wasn’t certain what to do.
She could go and attempt to force Mrs. Beaumont to come with her, but if Mrs. Beaumont physically fought Jane, Jane would be unable to do it by sheer force.
