He leans closer, his dark eyes narrowing under the shadow of his hat. “You might want to get that checked. Doctor’s orders.”
The biggest damn library
Oliver
“Looks like your duedate will be about November fourth.” The ultrasound lady pulls away the probe and tucks Sophia’s gown down.
I’m fixated on the still frame she has on the screen.
A black and white set of shapes that I can’t understand, but I saw theheartbeatof my child.
When she hands me the warm curled paper images, I can’t stop staring at them.
Ours.
“We’re all done, everything looks great. Go ahead and get dressed, then we’ll see you back in a few weeks.” She smiles, turning off the machine, and leaves.
Sophia looks up at me from the stretcher, tears shimmering on her cheeks. “Why does it feel more real now?”
I help her up, then pull her close before she gets dressed. Wrapping her tightly, I just want to hold her until sheknowsI’m here with her.
The tension is slow to melt from her shoulders, but when she finally sags against me, I press my lips to her temple. “We got this.”
By the time we get to the truck, I can tell she’s lost in her own head.
“Soph? Are you okay?” Squeezing her thigh makes her glance up from the vacant stare she had out the window.
“Oliver? Why did Paige…do what she did? I know we talked about red flags in the past, but now that I know who—” She diverts to tracing my knuckles. “—I mean, do you think you had a part in it? Because you seem pretty perfect.” When she looks up, I can see the shine of more tears gathering on her lower lids.
I take a deep breath and let it out. “That’s a fair question.” My jaw tics at the realization that Paige is, once again, making strife for me.
“I met her at a party. We both got tipsy and messed around, then I didn’t see her again. Not until weeks later when she told me she was—” I swallow hard.
I don’t even want to compare Paige and Sophia.
“Pregnant,” Sophia finishes for me.
After a moment, I nod. “She wasn’t. But by the time I had figured that out, I had already committed to her. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“She hated where I lived. At first she wanted to move to Missoula. Then California. Didn’t want kids, so she stayed on birth control and made me jacket up.” I let out a rueful laugh. “I think the part I was most excited about was being a dad.”
Sophia snuggles into my side. “I think you’re going to be a great one.”
That makes a burst of warmth sear through my chest.
“I work long hours, Soph. In the summertime, sometimes I’m on sixteen, even twenty hour days when we’re on a project. Thenwhen I got home, I’m sure all I talked about was moving dirt or roping.” I remember the arguments with Paige.
She wanted to go out all the time. Bars, clubs, concerts.
And added a new wardrobe every other month.
“I got tired of burning at both ends trying to keep her happy, so she started going out without me. Then I think she liked the attention she was getting since I wasn’t there. I’m boring, Soph. When it really comes down to it, I’d rather sit at home with some half-burned mozzarella sticks, a good book, or a horseback ride around the property.” Reaching over, I entwine my fingers in hers. “I just want you to know, my favorite thing in the world has become those moments in the mornings, when we’re both awake, and I can just hold you wrapped against me.”
I lift her thumb to my lips, feeling the burn of grief trying to take over. “My mom would have reading days when we were kids. All three of us would find a story and sit in the living room with a fresh plate of cookies, existing in our own little worlds for a few hours. Those quiet memories? They’re what I want.”
Her tears soak into my shirt when she burrows against me. “My mom used to read to us every night,” she sniffles. “After she died, Dad tried. He worked a lot too. I understand that he does it because he loves us. He couldn’t always be there, so he made sure we had all the books we wanted.” Sophia tilts her head to reveal her puffy eyes, yet a smile tugs up her mouth. “When he’d get home in the evening, he’d make us a cup of tea before bed and ask us about what they were about.”
She really gets it.
