What happened? she wondered. How did we go so wrong?
Suddenly, something seemed to snap inside her—she was angry. He didn’t get to abandon her like this without at least explaining himself!
“My suite. Eight o’clock tonight,” she said, putting authority she didn’t exactly feel in her voice. But hey—didn’t the saying go, “fake it ‘till you make it?” That was her intention—she was going to channel her stern inner Mistress until she got to the bottom of this.
For a long moment, Braze just looked down at her. He was so huge and muscular she was tempted to cringe, but she didn’t. She lifted her chin and stared up at him.
“Did you hear me?” she demanded.
At long last, he nodded.
“Yes. I’ll be there.”
“Good. Don’t be late.” Kaitlyn nodded stiffly, turned, and walked away.
She had no idea if Braze would really come or not, but she hoped he would. He was more than just her Protector—more than a friend and bodyguard. She was beginning to realize that she loved him, and she’d thought—for a brief moment—that maybe he loved her, too.
The thought made her eyes sting with tears. Well, maybe she’d been wrong about that but either way, she had to try to get through to her Protector before they said goodbye forever.
33
BRAZE
Braze strode away from the meeting, feeling like his insides were twisted into a mass of knots. He couldn’t understand why Kaitlyn wouldn’t just let him go. Didn’t she hate him now? Surely she didn’t respect him anymore. She ought to be glad to see the end of him—why didn’t she just agree that they should go their separate ways?
He had no idea what he was going to say when he went to her suite that night. He could hardly look at her after the way he’d acted in the Morning Court. And he had no idea how she could look at him.
He dreaded their meeting, but he swore to himself it would be short. He would make her understand that they needed to be apart—that he couldn’t be her Protector any longer. Not after the way he had shamed himself. Surely then she would let him go.
You don’t want her to let you go—not really, whispered a little voice in his head. You want to love her…to serve her…to get on your knees and be of service to her for hours.
But he didn’t deserve that—any of it. He didn’t deserve Kaitlyn.
No matter how much he cared for her, he had to leave her.
It was the only way.
34
KAITLYN
Kaitlyn didn’t go straight back to her suite. She didn’t want to be stuck inside a small space when she was so full of sorrow and fury. Instead, she wandered the Mother Ship aimlessly, turning the problem over and over in her mind, unable to reach a solution.
Finally she looked up and realized that she had somehow walked all the way to the center of the ship. She was in the parklands in the very middle of the Mother Ship—rolling green and purple hills where families came to play and have picnics under the warm light of the artificial green sun overhead. In fact, she was standing in front of the Sacred Grove—the place where the priestesses who served the Kindred Goddess lived and worshipped.
Kaitlyn had only been here once, during the wedding of a coworker. She loved the graceful beauty of the tall trees with their green and purple leaves, rustling in a light breeze. It was such a peaceful place—so filled with warmth and light and goodness. It felt to her like nothing bad or evil could even come near it—like all sorrow and grief could be washed away just by walking under the shade of those slender trees.
On impulse, she took off her shoes—remembering that this was protocol here since the Sacred Grove was considered holy ground—and stepped into the shadow of the trees.
At once, she felt better. She breathed in and a warm, green, growing aroma filled her senses. Surely there was someone here who could help her—who could tell her what to do.
“Hello?” she said aloud, tentatively. “Hello, is there anyone here?”
There was no reply and at first, she thought she must be alone in the Grove after all. But a moment later, the branches rustled and a woman wearing a long white gown stepped through the trees and came towards her.
Kaitlyn recognized her as one of the priestesses who served the Goddess at once. She had green streaks in her long gray hair and the green-within-green eyes which meant she had been in service to the Kindred deity for a long time.
“Hello, daughter,” the priestess said, nodding gracefully. “Are you in need of wisdom?”
