Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who listens without trying to fix me. Someone who can handle that my life can be messy and exhausting, and still want to be part of it.
I answer a few more questions then hit submit and drop my phone on the mattress like it's hot.
My heart is pounding, which is silly. It's a dating profile, not a felony.
I’m not going to tell Beth. Not that I'm ashamed—okay, maybe a little, but mostly because I'm not ready to make this a whole thing yet. Beth will beexcited. She’ll want to workshop my profile and analyze every message and probably run backgroundchecks on anyone who talks to me. I love her for it, but right now, this one's just for me.
I plug in my phone and turn off the lamp.
Somewhere under the exhaustion and the doubt and the lingering sting ofI wish I could just live at Dad's, there's a tiny spark of something that feels like hope.
CHAPTER 2
CHEVY
At 6:30 a.m. I walk into the Deepwood Mountain Fire Station and immediately want to turn around.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. Runningtowarda fire while sane people run away? Piece of cake. Splinting a broken leg on the side of a mountain? No problem. What's hard is walking into a firehouse where every guy on shift looks like he just got hit by Cupid's arrow.
Aiden's leaning against the kitchen counter with his phone pressed to his ear, doing that low laugh—the one that means Beth said something only they think is funny. An inside joke or a flirty innuendo. I don't know the details and I don't want to. The man is grinning like a lovesick wolf. I mean, he found a woman who thinks his protein shake obsession is "endearing" instead of "psychotic." That's love.
Perry's reorganizing the kitchen cabinets. Again. This is his third system this month. But he's humming to himself…and I know exactly why. Raina's coming by later to "check the truck's engine." Right. The thing is running fine since the last time she fixed it because she’s a fantastic mechanic, and she's alreadyinspected twice this month. They're not fooling anyone, but they think they are, and that's the cutest part.
And then there's Jasper, sitting on the couch texting with both thumbs and a grin so dopey it would've gotten him roasted off the face of the earth six months ago. But now? Nobody says a word. Even I have to admit, it’s fucking adorable.
"Yo, Jasper," I call out, dropping into the chair across from him. "What's the latest? She pick the napkins yet?"
He doesn't even look up. "She's narrowed it down to three. Linen, cotton blend, or?—"
"The fact that you know that is blowing my mind."
He finally glances at me, but he's still smiling. The man is immune to mockery now. Love has made him bulletproof. "I’m just glad she’s still on board with marrying me. I’ll support whatever vision she has."
"You're supporting a mood board, brother."
"You're just jealous," he says.
“Duh! Those napkins do get a lot more attention than me.”
Jasper chuckles.
Over by the cubbies, even the Captain checks his phone, and I catch it—that quiet, private smile. The one that softens his whole face in a way that would be jarring if you didn't know the context. Cap's not a smiler. He's the strong, silent type who communicates primarily through nods and meaningful stares. But Sloane's got him out here looking as if he might burst out in song. Okay,thatmight be a bit much, but you get the picture.
I clap my hands together and address the room. "Alright, is anyone in this buildingnotin love right now? Geez, is Lance around?”
“It’s his day off,” Perry says.
“Errrgh. Just me then? Cool cool cool."
Perry closes the cabinet and looks over his shoulder. "Maybe if you stopped scaring women off with your?—"
"My what? Charm? Incredible body? Decadent enchiladas?"
"Your inability to have a serious conversation that lasts more than thirty seconds," Perry finishes.
"Hey, I can be serious." I furrow my brow. "I'm just saying, why be serious when you can be fun? Fun is underrated. Fun keeps people young. Jasper and Aiden used to be fun."
Jasper and Aiden don’t even give me the courtesy of a retort. They just roll their eyes. And Perry shakes his head. He's laughing. They always laugh. That's the thing about being the funny guy—everyone's entertained, nobody's worried about you, and the spotlight stays exactly where you want it: on the surface.
