She giggles, and it’s so sweet and satisfying.
The conversation drifts after that. We stay on the phone, voices low and lazy, saying nothing and everything. She tells me her feet are cold and she's too weak to find socks. I tell her I'm lying in a mess that I'll deal with in a minute since moving sounds impossible. We laugh.
"This is the best part," she says quietly. "The after part. Where you're here."
"I am here."
"I know." A pause. "I really like your voice."
"I really like your everything."
She's quiet for a beat, and I know she’s smiling. Just like I am.
"Goodnight, hon."
"Goodnight, trouble."
The call ends and I clean myself up with the shirt I was wearing.
I'm falling for someone I've never laid eyes on. I don't know her real name or her face or where she buys her groceries. I only know the things that matter—how she laughs, what scares her,what she sounds like when she comes apart from my voice, and that she sees the me most people don’t.
I pick up my phone one more time and open the retreat confirmation. Two weeks from Saturday at a mountain lodge I’ll get to see her face.
I can't wait.
CHAPTER 5
CAMILLE
I'm standing in my bedroom in my underwear seriously considering canceling.
I’ve never been the woman to try too hard to impress a man. I figured if he wasn’t attracted to me in a T-shirt and yoga pants then it just wasn’t meant to be.
But this situation is completely different in so many ways…
My bed looks like a clothing bomb went off. There's a romper crumpled near the pillows that I loved for ten seconds before deciding it wasn’t me; a pair of jeans and a top that screamedwrongobvious to anyone with eyes; a skirt-and-sweater combo that made me look as if I was going to a parent-teacher conference, which is not the vibe I’m going for at all.
I'm currently holding up option four: a fitted olive-green dress that hits mid-thigh, with a neckline that shows off my assets without looking too thirsty.
It's a dress I bought a few months ago shopping with Beth, just because I liked how it made me feel.
The sad part is I haven’t found a reason to wear it yet.
Well, today’s the day, Cam.
I put it on, look in the mirror, and immediately want to take it off again. It’s attractive. That's the problem. It’s just that I look like a woman whowantsa man to look at her, and that thought alone makes my stomach flip.
Yeah, I know I’ve got issues.
My phone vibrates on the nightstand and I lunge for it. Maybe he’s canceling!
Wild@Heart:On my way to the retreat. Nervous as hell. If I pass out when I see you, just step over my body and enjoy the appetizers until I come to.
I laugh, and it reminds me exactly why I’m doing this.
I want to meet this man.
Cursive&Caffeine:If I'm not there when you arrive, it's because I fled the country.
