Because of this, Rabbit was used to experiencing a vast range of negative emotions in his short life, but there were two, in particular, he hated more than the rest.
Guilt.
And self-pity.
In the past year, he’d gotten good at burying both, shoving them so far down that now the only times they threatened to burst from that locked cage inside himself was when he was about to step onto a stage.
The panic attacks were awful, and he missed the times when he’d been younger and hadn’t understood why anyone would have stage fright in the first place. But even still, both of those things were better than the raw, undiluted feeling that everything bad that had ever happened to him was his own damn fault.
Which was why it pissed him off so much when he felt that first stirring of self-pity in his gut as he stood in front of his bathroom sink, staring in the mirror at the massive hickey Void had left on his neck.
Had he given in too easily? He knew his worth and being the sex toy of someone, even if that someone happened to be an actual prince, was beneath him. He was Rabbit Trace, famed by age fourteen, the most anticipated rising musician in not just their galaxy, but in several.
The musician who got sick to his stomach whenever he thought about playing in front of an audience.
He’d kept that secret hidden, afraid that if he let on his mother would somehow find out and return to try and fix him, but apparently he hadn’t been doing as good of a job as he’d assumed. Not if Void had figured it out, and in such a short timeframe too.
No matter what the other man said, Baikal must have taken an interest in him when they bumped into one another in the cafeteria. As far as Rabbit could recall, that was the one and only encounter they’d ever had in their three years at Vital. Whether it was because Void had been bored at the time, or he really did find Rabbit as attractive as he claimed, it was clear that the decision to trap him like this had been made on a whim.
How nice for him, that he could just decide something for himself with such ease. As the heir to the Brumal, Rabbit would have expected Baikal’s life to come with more strings and red tape than his own, and yet it was the opposite. Sullivan Void must not keep a tight rein on his son.
Should Rabbit have chosen the alternative after all and ended his mother’s career? There was a slight chance she’d be able to weasel her way out of it, but it was unlikely, especially if a man like Baikal was pushing for her ruination.
If she had nothing left, it was true she’d have to return home, and also true that she’d most likely take out her misfortune on Rabbit. The thought of having her overbearing presence constantly hovering over him was enough to make him queasy, but that wasn’t the reason he’d finally given in to Baikal’s demands.
No, he’d been afraid of what might happen if the case was looked into further by the police. If they discovered why his mother had beat that man—had broken his hand in four places, even—and what had come next…
Rabbit shuddered and closed the lid on that thought, nowhere near steady enough to handle it at the moment. His insane encounter with the Brumal Prince last night was still haunting him and had been on his entire drive home.
And when he’d stumbled inside his house.
And crawled into bed.
And lay there staring up at the ceiling until the sun had beamed through his window signaling the start of the day.
The hickey wasn’t the only mar to his usually put-together person. There were also dark bags under his eyes from the complete lack of sleep, and his brow was still pinched like it’d no doubt been since the moment Baikal had entered the viewing room instead of Arlet.
Rabbit winced thinking of that landmine waiting to explode. If she hadn’t been the one to contact him that meant she’d decided not to try again after their terrible first date. He was going to have to figure out a way to inform his mother things weren’t going to work out and she wasn’t going to be able to call the great Bin Zimir family after all.
She wasn’t going to take it well, but she was already set to perform in the galaxy over so there was no chance she’d bother coming back home to scold him in person.
Baikal’s final warning chose that moment to echo in his head and Rabbit paused.
He’d agreed to be at the other man’s mercy, and Void had made it clear he wasn’t allowed to be with anyone else so…Maybe it was for the best that Arlet was no longer interested.
It was a small one, but it was a silver lining nonetheless, and in his current state of being, Rabbit would take any bit of positivity he could get. He’d avoided getting close to people and had only agreed to let Arlet in because his mother had allowed it. Baikal…Well. He was Brumal. Even if his mother did discover the two of them were interacting, she couldn’t do anything to Void.
Not like she had to Oli.
Rabbit slammed his hands on the granite countertop and forced himself to stay focused on the present. His gaze wandered up and down his bare chest, but aside from the hickey, Baikal had been surprisingly careful with him.
He’d spent the entire rest of the night and most of the morning trying to convince himself he’d felt nothing but disgust during the encounter. That he’d hated every look, every touch, every second he’d been forced to spend in the Brumal Prince’s presence. That his dick had merely reacted the way that it had due to a lack of stimulation and pent-up sexual frustration he hadn’t been aware of prior.
The fact he could see visual proof that all of that was a lie staring back at him in the mirror had him clenching his fists.
At the mere recollection of the orgasms Baikal had forced from him, Rabbit’s dick had begun to harden. He could see it right there in front of him so there was no use left in denying it, especially when it would ultimately do him no good.
So fine, he’d liked it. On some level.
