“Nothing.” I shook my head and reunited our mouths, and as we kissed, he wrapped his legs and arms around me.
But as we stayed locked in place, savoring our combined taste, post-orgasm clarity hit me, and I realized what I’d done. The kind of doors I’d opened up. Doors I’d locked so long ago. And for what? A hit of pleasure. A moment’s euphoria that couldn’t last.
This was such a mistake. It had felt so good, but that was what it was. A mistake.
A mistake I couldn’t repeat.
I’d spent so long picking up the pieces of my broken heart and gluing them back together. I couldn’t risk it shattering again.
Not again.
Not ever again.
TWENTY
ZACH
Iwas still high on Dare, even in my dreams. Feeling his hands on me, surrounded by his warm, naked embrace made me feel safe and happy. It was no wonder I fell asleep so fast and dreamt of nothing but rainbows, hearts, and unicorns.
When I opened my eyes I had no idea what time it was or how much time had passed but I knew I never wanted to get out of this bed. I wanted to spend the rest of my days here with him. With Dare.
I sent my hand behind me in search of him, but I met no resistance, no warm flesh. I rolled on my back to check but there was no Dare there. Just Lookah, blinking up at me by my feet.
My disappointment must have been obvious because he looked up and cocked his head to the side as if he was asking me why he wasn’t enough.
Good thing he couldn’t ask me that because I wouldn’t know how to answer him without breaking his heart.
I blinked and Dare appeared in my face, gasping, moaning, smiling. Our time together flashed before my eyes and I laidback in bed, staring at the ceiling as if it was showing my memories play out in real time.
The more I remembered, the harder I got and I wished he was here to help me out again.
Now that I’m thinking about it…
I sat up in bed and glanced at the door.
“Where is he?” I whispered but no one answered. Not even the dog.
I scanned the room for a note or hint but there were none. Then I reached for my phone.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed when I realized it was nine in the morning.
How the hell had I slept all night and why was there no light coming from the window?
I pushed myself off the bed and when I approached the window I realized the blinds had been shut.
“So sweet,” I mumbled and I opened them to let the light in. I decided to look for Dare before I jumped in the shower, hoping he would follow me in the bathroom and help me…clean up, of course.
I didn’t find him.
I looked in the living room and kitchen; then I looked in the spare room and the store room but he wasn’t there either. Neither were the goats.
When I opened the front door so Lookah could run out for his morning business, I realized why. His truck was gone too. He must have gone to the fields without me, which was oddconsidering I’d offered to help him. Maybe he didn’t want to disturb me after what happened yesterday or maybe he wanted to let me rest after the evening we’d shared.
Whichever the case, I decided not to overthink it and retreated into the shower to clean up. Once I was all fresh, I stood in the kitchen, in front of my laptop and browsed through my recipes trying to find the best one to thank Dare for being there for me.
I did run into a problem however as every recipe I clicked seemed to conjure a replay of us instead of the actual recipe.
Last night was good. It was more than that. It had been everything I could have ever dreamed of and more. It had been nothing short of magical, least of all because I realized he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.
