When did breathing become so hard?
What’s wrong with my airways?
Where is he?
Is he hiding?
He’s the man in the baseball cap all the way at the back of the line, isn’t he?
Or is it the man in shades watching me from the bench by the waterfront?
“Zach? Zach are you okay?” A pair of hands seized my shoulders, and I flinched, bracing for impact. “Zach, sweetie, what’s happening?”
I blinked with a shudder and concentrated on the person standing in front of me. Brown hair, dark eyes, friendly smile.
It was Autumn. Autumn was here. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t Victor.
“I…I’m okay,” I panted and took a deep breath in before I let it out.
Exhaustion drowned me as my heart rate returned to normal and the world came back to focus.
“Are you sure? You don’t look okay,” Autumn said, her voice, usually bubbly and energetic, now low and dark.
“Yeah. I…I just got a bit light-headed,” I said.
Autumn’s eyebrows knitted over her nose, her eyes narrowed with concern, and I did my best to smile and return to my normal self, whatever that was.
“Here, have a seat. I’ll take over for a second.” She pushed me back on the plastic chair and didn’t turn back around until she was sure I was going to rest for a moment.
I would have complained but I was drained. Moments ago I’d been fine and now…now I wanted to curl up in bed and sleep.
As Autumn turned her attention to my customers, Donovan climbed into the truck and helped package cake while Autumn served drip coffee to everyone apologizing for the lack of pizzazz and pumpkin spice in the drinks.
After a moment, I closed my eyes and tried to tune everything and everyone out and imagined warm water raining down on me, washing away the anxiety, the pain, the fear.
This wasn’t me. It wasn’t. It hadn’t been me for well over a year. I just needed to remember it.
I’m a strong, confident Black man in charge of his destiny and no one can define me. No one can stop me. No one can break me.
“Here, drink this.” Autumn placed a glass of iced water in my hands and the coolness against my skin almost reinvigorated me.
“Thanks.” I smiled and took a long sip. It helped me find peace again.
“Better?” she asked a few moments later when I stood up.
The truck was way too crowded for three people.
“Yeah. Much,” I said.
“Great. Go and take a walk. Get some fresh air. We’ve got it covered here.”
“Yes, Mom,” I chuckled, and she shooed me away with an eye roll.
I only walked around the back of the truck and looked out into the sea. It might be fall and the water may be choppy, but it was still serene and had the ability to make all my fears and doubts fade away.
He wasn’t here.
Victor wasn’t here. Maybe he never was. But he definitely isn’t here now. If he was, he’d make himself known. He wouldn’t hide. I was safe. Mayberry Holm was safe. Victor couldn’t find me here. He couldn’t hurt me. He couldn’t touch me anymore.
