And if he wasn’t, then… there was something seriously wrong with me for not being able to read him right.
“Just think of it this way. You took your first step into the gay dating world. Now you don’t have anything to be afraid of,” Zainab said.
I shook my head and kept it firmly in place in my hands.
I didn’t want to date. I didn’t want to meet other guys. I wanted him. I just needed him to tell me what I’d done wrong so I could fix it.
Fuck!
There was something seriously wrong with me if I was making excuses for him after the way he treated me in Boston.
But I had to… I had to believe he wasn’t all that bad. Because if I believed he was only in it for a good fuck then that negated all our dates, all the times we’d spent together, all the stuff we’d shared.
Someone meowed at my feet, and when I uncovered my head, I found Chibiusa staring at me, full of curiosity. As soon as I picked her up, she started purring. Just when she’d gotten all cozy up in my arms, the buzzer went off, and she dug her claws in my sweater.
“Ouch.” I winced.
“Who the hell could that be? It’s Christmas Day!” Alina shot up and walked to the video doorbell, and she gasped, putting her hands over her mouth.
She turned to us with big round eyes and practically shrieking.
“What? Who is it? Santa? Tell him he’s looking for the next house down the road,” Zainab said, but Alina didn’t humor her girlfriend.
She shook her head and turned to me.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re not gonna believe it,” she said.
“Who is it, Alina?”
Alina finally put her hands down and pursed her lips.
“It’s… him.”
Him?Himhim? Could it be?
“Him who?” I asked, and even Zainab rolled her eyes at me considering she’d been just as clueless a second before. “Cole?” I asked.
Alina nodded, smiling.
“Stop that,” Zainab told her. “Don’t get him all excited. For all we know, he’s just after another blowie before he ghosts Samir again.”
I shook my head.
No. That couldn’t be it. Cole had never given me the impression he would do something like that. That he’d booty-call and sleep around when he was horny.
Unless…
Unless I’d woken up something in him that he’d put to sleep since his girlfriend and now he’d turned into the typical twenty-four-year-old horndog.
The buzzer went off again.
Alina turned to me. “What—what do I do?” she asked.
I bit my lip and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pounding in my chest. It wasn’t appropriate. It was jumping ahead. It had no right beating like that when I had no idea why he was here.
“Answer it,” I mumbled and stood right up. “No! I’ll… I’ll answer it.”
