When I didn’t think it could get any more painful, I felt his fingers pressing against my hole, running circles around my ringof muscle. He spread my own cum and his around my hole before breaching me first with one curled finger, then two.
I stilled myself. I held my breath and watched him. Watched him spread me open, suck me off, make me all hard and desperate again, and then he ran his palm over my stomach and rubbed his cock with it. I knew what he was doing of course, but even so, nothing could have prepared me for what he did next. For the way he sat up, adjusted himself between my legs, and the way he pushed himself inside me.
He was slow of course; he was delicate. He wasn’t abrupt or forceful, but he was dominant. He slid inside me with such ease I’d never felt, not when I played with myself or when I used toys. Maybe cum was the best lube.
Cole wasn’t huge, he wasn’t thick; he was a little smaller than me but damn it if he didn’t know how to use it. Use it to fill me up real good. Use it to fuck me real nice and slow. Use it to bring me one step closer to another moment of perfection.
“God, Cole, you… oh my… this is so fucking good,” I moaned and reached out for him, for his face, his lips.
He obliged me and leaned over to kiss me, and of course I kissed him back. Even if being in this position made me feel fuller with his cock than before. It was a wonderful feeling. It was fucking intoxicating.
I always expected this to feel like it did when I used my dildo. But it was nothing like it. A real cock didn’t vibrate. It wasn’t cold. No, a real cock throbbed and shoved and rubbed. It was warm and fucking delicious, and I didn’t know why I’d waited so long to try it, but I was also glad to have waited because Cole was the one for me.
I couldn’t imagine anyone else in his place. He deserved the honor of taking my gay virginity. And I was so glad we waited until now to do this because it felt more than a cheap night in the sack.
It was a union of two souls. Two souls that were destined for one another.
Cole bit my lower lip, breathed heavily, and grabbed my cock, stroking me faster than he fucked me. I sank back, savoring the moment, the sensations trickling all over my body.
It was impossible for me to speak or think. I just laid there and took it until I erupted all over myself and Cole, yet he didn’t stop.
He went on and on, stroking me and fucking me at the same time, and I held him close, I held him near me until he was ready to give and when he did… Oh, it was the most wonderful feeling.
It was like being surrounded and inundated with love and sex and everything that was good in the world, and I knew I wanted to do this with him again and again and again.
Cole shut his eyes and collapsed on me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him, breathing almost in sync with each other until he pushed himself off and ran into the bathroom.
I waited for him to come out, but then the shower came on, and I grabbed one of the towels from the armchair next to the bed and wiped myself clean until he emerged, and I could have my turn.
I waited and waited, and I eventually nodded off, or I must have because when he came out of the bathroom, it had been something like an hour.
“That was a long shower.” I chuckled, but Cole ignored me. He put his clothes on, turned his back on me, and walked towardthe door. “Are you okay?” I asked, catching up with him and reaching for him.
I wasn’t sure what had happened. Had I done something wrong or was he tired or something? I wasn’t sure, but when he pulled away from my touch and left my room, I knew something was wrong. Something was monumentally wrong.
I didn’t know what I’d done but something broke inside me.
How can such an amazing feeling of fulfillment and joy be replaced by hurt and regret so quickly? So suddenly?
I tried to keep it together. I tried to pull myself together. I retreated into the bathroom to shower, and when I came out, I did the only thing I knew to do to ground me. I prayed. I caught up with all my prayers hoping they would help this time like they had all the other times I’d been at a loss, but it didn’t work. Not this time. Which made me feel twice as bad for only turning to Allah when I felt hurt and not when I felt joy. I asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness for missing my prayers, for being so selfish, for being so stupid.
Was I… was I just a toy for him?
Had I been someone for him to keep busy with? To play with?
What the hell just happened? And how did I even begin to fix things? Could they even be fixed?
“Tomorrow,” I mumbled. “Tomorrow, things will be better.”
But they weren’t. Cole barely said a word to me. He barely looked at me. We simply checked out and drove back home as if we were two strangers.
I had no idea what had happened, what I’d done wrong, but when he dropped me off home and then sped away without a goodbye, I knew this was the end of us.
The end of Cole and Samir and a happily ever after.
And my heart ached at the loss.
29.Cole
