“You… you can join me if you want,” I said.
He paused and stared at me for a moment, and I waited with bated breath for his reply.
“I… s-sure,” he mumbled.
I smiled and pulled him into my arms for another kiss before I led us to my bedroom, and we got into the bed.
Of course we kept our clothes on. This hadn’t been an invite for sex. After all, Ella’s bed was in the room, and that was never going to happen with her sleeping a couple feet away. Not that, if she hadn’t been there, I was ready for that.
I knew we’d have to tackle that part of the equation eventually, but I wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t know if I would be ready any time soon. I mean, I barely even jerked off anymore. Having sex with someone else wasn’t something on my mind at the moment.
I just hoped Samir was okay with waiting.
I rearranged my pillow and looked at him. He was so beautiful lying in my bed. So stunning. He fit in there like he had into the rest of my life. And I didn’t think I’d mind waking up to that view every morning.
We stayed like that for minutes, hours, God knew how long. Maybe it was weird. Maybe it wasn’t. I had no clue, but it was precious to me. Because it told me we didn’t need words orawkward small talk to be comfortable with each other. We could just exist in each other’s company in utter silence, utter stillness, and still feel connected.
I didn’t know what I’d been scared of all this time. Why I thought my feelings for him were wrong or bad. There was nothing bad about feeling like that for someone else, especially for someone like Samir. He made everything that should be hard, easy.
Maybe I would have felt like that if I’d dated anyone else, yet somehow, I doubted that. Samir was special. I could feel it in my bones. Maybe special enough to fall in love again. Maybe special enough to build a life. Maybe special enough to grow old with.
Maybe…
24.Samir
“Now you must have had sex,” Zainab said and looked to Alina for support.
She also nodded.
“Nope.” I shook my head.
Zay sighed.
“I don’t get it. How on earth does he make you glow like that if you’re not doing the deed!”
Alina laughed.
I shrugged.
“I must be sucking the youth right out of him.” I chuckled.
“So you did kiss!”
“We did, but not in the way you think,” I said.
Zay turned to her girlfriend and huffed.
“He’s lying, isn’t he?”
Alina pursed her lips.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he is.”
“Weird,” Zainab mumbled, making Alina put her hand around her and plant a kiss on her cheek.
“Are you jealous, babe? Want to try going celibate and see if we can get a silly face like him?”
I put my fingers in my ears halfway through, and Zainab grimaced.
