“Did you ever… Did you think about finding someone? To try again?”
Lilian smiled and looked me in the eyes.
“Is this about me? Or about you?”
I put my hands up as if I’d been caught red-handed and approached her, sitting down next to her.
“What’s troubling you, sweetie?”
“Samir,” I sighed. “Sandra. This whole situation.”
Lilian pursed her lips and squeezed my knee.
“You feel guilty, don’t you?”
I narrowed my eyes.
“How do you know? You can read minds now too?”
She chuckled.
“Do you think I never dated after Nicolas?”
“You did?”
She nodded.
“But it was hard. And every time it started getting more serious, I felt like I was cheating on my husband.”
“I wish I felt like that. Every time I’m with Samir, I forget about Sandra altogether.”
“In what way?” she asked.
I hesitated and glanced at the floor.
“You… you never had that?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Great,” I sighed. “I’m a monster.”
“Honey, you’re not a monster. What do you mean you forget about her?”
“Exactly what I said. When I’m with him, I forget about her. Not that she existed. Just… She’s not there. In my mind. I’m used to her being in every thought I have that when hours pass while I’m with him, I realize I haven’t thought about her once.”
“Oh, honey. You don’t forget her. You forget the grief and the loss of her. Maybe it’s a good thing.”
“How can you say that? What’s good about forgetting her?”
“You want to know what I think, sweetheart? I think your heart is learning to make space for someone else. And yeah, it might get it wrong in the beginning. It’s learning after all. But I think that’s all it is. I wouldn’t be afraid of it. You could never forget Sandra. It’s not possible. She will always live on in your heartand in your daughter. But I think it’s okay to stop hurting for a moment and to be happy again. If Samir does that for you, then that’s wonderful.”
I bit my lip and pondered over her words. Was Lilian right? Was it my heart learning to love someone else?
“Did you ever find someone that made you forget about Nicolas for a moment?”
Lilian pressed her lips into a sad smile and shook her head.
“And if I did, I wouldn’t let him go for one second. Love is so special, some people never find it once in their lives. Finding it twice? Now that’s something.”
