One wouldn’t think so, but watching Cole wield an ax was an almost spiritual experience. From the way he held it, to the way his posture changed, to the determination in his gaze, he was quite the sight to behold.
My entire body came to life as I watched him cut the tree down. A wave of goosebumps that left a lasting impression on me and made me forget how to breathe, how to swallow, how to even blink.
I hadn’t seen that side of him before, but he never looked more like a firefighter than now. Not even when he’d been standing on that stage being auctioned off.
It was intoxicating. A dangerous thing for my already overwhelmed mind that refused to stop thinking of him for more than two seconds.
Just before the tree came down, he stopped, wiped his forehead, and caught me staring. I felt like I’d been caught red-handed, which was silly considering we were dating, so of course I wouldbe watching him, but that didn’t stop my cheeks from getting warm.
Before he started chopping again, he winked at me, and I choked on air. It was only when Ella started clapping and cheering that I realized he’d probably been winking at his daughter instead, and I was once again projecting my desires on the man.
I shook my head and turned to the little girl whose hand I was holding and smiled, giving her little fingers a squeeze.
“What’s Daddy doing?” I asked her.
“Tree!” she exclaimed in response.
“Yeah, he’s cutting a tree.”
A few moments later, Cole stepped back, dropped the ax, and put his hands in the air, yelling “timber.”
The pine tree toppled to the side with a thud, and I raised Ella in the air, cheering for her dad, celebrating something so simple. Yet the way Cole beamed at his daughter, I could tell it was beyond precious for him.
“Great work, Mr. Firefighter,” I said, and Cole gave me a crooked smile before taking his daughter in his arms and jumping up and down with her, causing the little one to giggle uncontrollably.
I took the scene in. How beautiful it was to witness. What a beautiful memory they were making, and yet I couldn’t help but wonder what on earth I was doing in it. This shouldn’t be a moment shared by a stranger. Someone who probably wouldn’t be in their lives by this time next year. It should be something they cherished on their own.
But even as that realization hit me, it was another one that hit harder. That I wanted to be part of this. Part of their family. Part of Cole and Ella’s life. To share more moments like this. But I had no idea if it was even in the cards for me. Not just with Cole, but with anyone whatsoever. After all, I was a forty-one-year-old with no social or personal life.
I couldn’t get too attached. There was no reason to. Cole and I, we weren’t compatible. If we were, he wouldn’t have stepped away when I tried to get closer to kiss him yesterday.
He was probably dating me because he felt obligated to. He probably only saw me as a friend. And that was okay. I just had to keep reminding myself of the fact before I fell for him or something and hurt myself in the process.
“Right,” Cole said, approaching me. “Now, how the heck do we get this in the car?”
I laughed. I laughed louder than the comment warranted seeing as it wasn’t even funny. But I had to ward off the disappointment somehow, right?
“Hm… now that’s a question,” I said.
But even that problem wasn’t hard to solve.
We took turns dragging the tree back to the car and got it hoisted up to the roof. While I secured it, Cole paid the farm worker, and we set off back into town. Back into reality.
“Oh, Ella, look, the ice-skating rink is up and running!” Cole pointed when we drove around the side streets of Main Street trying to get back to Cole’s house.
“Ring, ring, ring,” Ella cheered, clapping. “I wanna go ring-ring.”
Cole glanced at her through the rearview and then at me. I should have said no. I should have told him this was a thing for him to do with his daughter on their own. And yet it was easy to forget myself when those bright gray eyes of his looked at me and set my world on fire.
Which was how I’d found myself in the ice-skating rink a few minutes later.
Cole took to the sides, supporting himself on the barrier around the rink and trying not to fall while I stood next to him, holding Ella’s hand.
“Is it your first time skating?” I asked him.
“No,” Cole replied defensively, which somehow made him look cuter. “But I haven’t been since I was a teenager. Give me a minute. I’ll get the hang of it.”
I nodded, and as if on cue, he toppled over, making Ella laugh.
