Cole laughed.
“Yeah, I suppose not. How come you left New Jersey?”
I sighed.
“Too many questions about kids. We were sick of being hounded about it constantly.”
“Your family?”
“Everyone, really. We just wanted somewhere new to start fresh. I guess we had a much fresher start than we thought we’d get.”
“I’ll say.”
“But I’m glad we did it. It might be a lonely life, but it’s still a dream. Taking care of the cats, making a living out of recommending books, being surrounded by community. It’s nice.”
“I’m glad Mayberry has been so welcoming to you,” Cole said. “And…” He glanced at me but quickly looked away. “I hope it becomes less lonely from now on.”
I smiled.
“Me too,” I said, staring at the side of his face, hoping he meant what I thought he meant.
“Besides, with eleven more dates on the horizon, I’m sure you’ll be too busy putting up with me to get bored.”
“You make it sound as if hanging out with you is torture.”
Cole grimaced.
“Trust me. It is. I’m the least interesting person I know.”
I reached for his hand, and his head snapped around so fast it made me drop it again.
“You’re very hard on yourself. I’m having a great time.”
He rolled his eyes as if he didn’t believe me for a second.
“I’ll try and do better for the next date. Can you believe they made us have twelve of these?” he said.
And just like that, whatever I was about to say next, whatever I was about to suggest, dissolved into nothing. The self-consciousness took over again.
And here I thought we were having a good time when he was just forcing himself to get through the first of twelves dates.
“We don’t have to do that,” I said.
“Oh no. Enzo will kill me if I bail. And I’m sure he’ll get Hwan and my brother to kill me too.”
I nodded and looked away.
“I didn’t mean… I’m enjoying your company. Oh gosh. I’ve done it again. I told you I was rusty.”
I glanced at him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just…never mind. I had a great time. To be honest, I thought I was going to dread this—dating, I mean. Not you. Oh God. Shut up, Cole. Maybe we should call it a night before I put my foot even further in my mouth.”
I smiled, and we walked up to Books and Claws before Cole waved goodbye and rushed away like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Well,” I said to the clowder of cats that gathered around me when I entered the bookstore. “I guess, as far as first dates go, this wasn’t as bad as it could have been.”
Which wasn’t much of a consolation, but it was something.
