He pulled me down to him and kissed me. We ground against each other and groaned into each other’s mouth before Cole pulled away and whispered in my ear.
“God, I hope you’ve got lube.”
I chuckled with a nod. I took it out of my bedside drawer, and Cole wasted no moment. He spread his legs and slipped his slick fingers into his hole, prepping himself for me.
I watched him and held my breath. I watched him, unable to believe he was with me and that someone so beautiful could ever want me, but for some reason, he did.
“Need you. Now,” he begged, and I shook off the intrusive thoughts long enough to slide myself inside him and watch his eyes flicker with pain and pleasure.
He was so tight and so warm despite the coolness of the lube, and it took all my power not to come right there and then.
So I focused on his eyes, and he wrapped his legs around my hips, driving me deeper into him while holding me close.
I got lost in his gaze, in the heat of his body, in the connection between us and how good he made me feel, but the thoughts came back.
“Are you okay?” It was only when he spoke I realized I’d gotten distracted by the intrusive thoughts again.
I sighed.
“I’m just wondering…”
“Wondering what?” he asked and cupped my face with his hands.
“Wondering what… what does a gorgeous man like you see in me?”
Cole took pause and tilted his head to the side.
“Samir? What are you talking about? You’re fucking beautiful. And sexy?—”
“I’m not. I’m old and?—”
“Oh, shut up. You’re not old. You’re mature. And I love that. You know who you are and what you want even if you were late to come out. You’re hot, and that beard drives me insane. So do your eyes. So does your kindness and your affection. The way you look after those wounded souls you rescue or how excited you get to help a reader discover a new favorite book. You’re beautiful, Samir, and I don’t ever want you to think otherwise, okay?”
He held me in his hands and waited. He waited until I nodded in approval, and then he kissed me, wrapped his legs around me, and bucked his hips.
He reminded me what we were doing and why, and I focused not on my insecurities but him and this thing between us.
So I kissed him and fucked him and hugged him and made love to him. I plunged myself inside him over and over again until we were both out of breath and desperate.
It was then and only then that I let go of him long enough to look into his eyes, deep into his soul, and allow myself the release.
I filled him with my load, biting into his lower lip, and he moaned and trembled under me, shooting his own load between us, holding onto me for dear life and watching me.
I watched him too. I stared at him through the haziness in my vision and the room that wouldn’t stop spinning. I watched and waited for him to change, to turn his back to me, to push me away.
He didn’t.
He simply looked at me and smiled.
I smiled back. And kissed him. And made love to him all night long.
And even though I waited for him to get scared and run again, he didn’t, which meant he’d been telling the truth earlier, if there was ever any doubt.
He really did want me. And I wanted him too. I couldn’t imagine ever not wanting him.
“I’m in love with you, Cole Jackson Williams. I’m so in love with you it’s not even funny anymore.”
Cole traced my lips with his fingers.
